Unabridged

Lazy

2011-01-17T00:42:00.004-06:00

To save myself the excruciating (because I am lazy and because it hurts to miss it all) task of typing everything I can remember from the moment it snowed in Prague to the moment I had to leave, I will just put in a reminder to just look at my pictures. In that time span, I began to love that I brought my camera. My free, cheap-digital camera. I absolutely hate taking pictures, hate being that person who kills a moment by whipping out their camera and waiting for it to turn on or focusing it, but at that point I had to. You can't capture a moment, only a reminder of it; which is okay because what else could you do? I needed to remind myself of everything and it was my last chance. So, those efforts won't be in vain. Reminder: go through Prague Winter 2010 pictures.

But I guess I'll write about something. I'll write about that last week. The week when people started making their departures. The sad and bittersweet goodbyes, the stress about the fcked up airports and carriers and flight schedules, the group outings that got smaller and smaller each night they were organized. I was lucky. My lovelies and I left within hours of each other. Susu left on the 22nd, we woke up at 4am to see her off and wave at her taxi driving away from Jarov G. Ilona and I spent the next day together, shopping, walking around, watching Friends, cleaning, having coffee. The next morning we took the taxi together to the airport and held hands for a little bit. Then we had lunch at the airport to use up the last of our korunas, and waited at our gates together. She hugged me good bye when it was time for me to board and told me she loved me and I told her I love her back.

(Insert story of hauling ass at Frankfurt with Holly...)

And then I got home. Saw my family, my nephew, my friends, and my Justinn.

2010 was a great year. 2011? I don't know. I'll write about it in 2012.

Just. Updating.

2010-12-01T18:00:00.003-06:00

I think I should document my travel better. But first, I must say that for the last three days it has snowed consistently. It's gorgeous outside! Especially since they put up the Christmas lights in the city. I know - Christmas lights are nothing novel, but coupled with the architecture here - it is absolutely goooorrrgeous. And it bums me out that I leave in just 20 days.

I talked about Munich? If I haven't...All I can say is that Oktober fest was cool. That's about it. I mean, I'm not a drinker - so I probably wouldn't go again. But the farmer's market in Munich was probably the best I've seen so far. Such fresh produce!

Moravian Trip...this is the east side of the country that I visited with some exchange students. I really can't tell you WHERE I went, but we visited this cool cave (reminder: enter name of cave here), took a walk in the woods that was just in the middle of shifting colors, and spent the very long evening at an old, old, OLD wine cellar. Thinking back, I am really not sure that wine cellar was the best idea. The owners were VERY hospitable. By that I mean not ONE person was sober by the end of the night, including our bus driver. Instead, the owner guy drove us in groups of five or six back to our hostel, and he was going real fast! In any case, the wine was pretty good (I guess?). Learned some cool things which have completely left my mind by now. It was a funny time. Fun, but more so funny. I don't know, this happened a long time ago and I was super duper drunk.

Dresden, Germany - I've already said that I enjoyed this city. It's pretty small but we all had a great time. We did spend one night there - the first day we did a really cool scavenger hunt that let us know the city better, then we saw a skyscraper view of the town, had dinner, etc. The thing I remember most is seeing practically the military guard the train station where an opposing (soccer) football team was arriving. That was insane. We have rivalries in the States but not any that will warrant the SWAT team to camp out at an intersection. HOly Cow man. We smoked some hookah that night - after a (slightly frightening) encounter with some local German guys on the public transport who were singing some...fraternity-like chant about how much foreigners suck. Great. Thanks guys. Otherwise, decent trip. Oh! We saw the finish of a marathon happening the next day though.
It was annoying because it was poorly managed though...and my friends and I (Suzanna, Ilona, and Tommy) were SO tired of being tugged around and seeing obscure sites that we ventured away from the group (much to the dismay of the crazy stressed out Czech buddy who accompanied us) so we can just hang out in the center and have a coffee. It was a good call.

Denmark - Aarhus. Susanna and I accompanied Ilona back to her university town (homegirl's Finnish but she's doing her master's in Denmark) at the end of October. I've mentioned Copenhagen already. It was alright. But again I like the smaller cities better and I really enjoyed Aarhus. It was...a break from vacation. We stayed at Ilona's friend Magda's place, got to cook in the common kitchen (we HAD to, sht was SO expensive!), met lots of cool people, partied a couple of nights. Like that one time we met these Danish guys at that bar and then went to that club with the gas-mask DJ. We learned how to dance the Danish way. Something about...doing the bird, and then picking apples? Anyway.
Will NOT forget wandering around in the woods, trying to find the deer park, and seeing the deer close up. That was amazing. Pictures were SO great and the deer king was. Awesome. Ilona met her new best friend in the deer king. =)

Uhhh..

I've been in the woods a lot these days. Aside from Dresden, Moravia, and Aarhus...We did walk up the wooded path near Prague Castle while the leaves were still in Autumn. It was a great time. I mean, granted, we ran into a man masturbating in public behind a park sign but...after that it was great. The view of Prague was to die for. I'd like to go back up with the snow but it's just SO damn cold.

Should talk about my Eurotrip!! In mid-November the group and I did an AWESOME trip...taking the bus to Vienna, then bus to Budapest...and then a bus to Krakow, Poland. Afterward we took the night train back to Prague (which was another genius idea). But I'll divulge later. I'm tired now.

1. I hate blogging. 2. I need to stop yelling when I dance.

2010-11-09T15:06:00.002-06:00

Mm. Prague has been great. I hate repeating myself, but I really do absolutely love being here. The trips I've gone on:

Dresden, Germany - Dresden is a gorgeous city. It's cozy, has great baroque architecture, and friendly folks.

Denmark -Though I only spent a few hours in Copenhagen, I can't say what I really feel about it. I suppose I didn't see enough but the smaller city of Aarhus was such a great place to be in. Again, it is a cozier town with great natural sights. We spent an entire day in the woods and the weather had treat us quite well.

I must re-iterate, I hate blogging. Posting is such a hassle and it's hard to put my experience into words. But I really wanted to talk about dance, one of the big reasons why I came here.

Currently I am training in gold/open Standard with Petr Zabystrzan and Monika Mihalikova, one of the best amateur couples in the Czech Republic. How are lessons going? Quite accelerated. Petr has gotten the point that I am a damn good follower, so he'll just lead - call out the figure before he does it and I do my best to execute the steps based on...just following. If I'm doing it incorrectly, he'll teach it to me afterward. I haven't had a lesson with Monika yet, but I can't wait. I have never taken a lesson from a woman/follower, so it'll be quite refreshing to get her take on it.

This is all I feel like typing about. Haha.

2010-10-10T04:58:00.002-05:00

Munich (Sept 18th)
Moravian Countryside this weekend (Oct 16th) (Southwest CZ)
Dresden, Germany next weekend (Oct 23rd)
Denmark - Arhus and Copenhagen (Oct 27th)
2 weekends in Prague, but will probably visit Kutna Hora (another city) on Sept 5th and..perhaps another day trip the next weekend on the 12th, the Terezin concentration camp and ghetto perhaps...There's another gorgeous city in the south that I'd like to see also, Cesky Krumlov. =)
Planning on traveling November 15-21st (skipping a week of courses) to Vienna, Budapest, and Krakow.
Also planning a trip to Berlin, and if we have time, Hamburg on the Elbe river, on the enthusiastic suggestion of Wibke Laier, a lovely German girl.

...If I have more money, Amsterdam?

New lifestyle

2010-10-08T10:04:00.009-05:00

Talked to Justinn the other night. And he wondered where this new Amanda came from. The...college student Amanda that goes clubbing every week at a new venue and drinks. She stays up til 3 or 4 in the morning, sometimes skips class, and hasn't done an ounce of homework. The 30 year old in me disappeared when I landed in this glorious town (it's sunny right now, and 61 F). While I've seen the landmarks here...:

1) Prague Castle (I haven't toured inside yet, but hopefully when tourist season dies down. Will also watch a chamber concert in the Spanish Hall).
2) Old Town Square, Old City Hall and the old Astronomical Clock
3) Jewish Town, Old and New Synagogue
4) Charles Bridge
5) Wenceslas Square - Um..every other day.
6) John Lennon Wall and the cool marriage locks right next to it on the other side of the river.
7) Seen Tosca by Puccini at Prague State Opera House (GORGEOUS), soon to watch Cinderella (Prokofiev) and The Czar's Last Daughter - Sleeping Beauty (Tchaikovsky) and perhaps another opera.
8) Visited Narodni Divadlo - National Theatre (The People's Theatre)
9)..STILL more to do here (zoo, hiking, tower, Narodni Muzeum, yaddiyadda..)

I've also gone to the following clubs/bars (excl Juve..):

1) Roxy (lol..wtf)
2) Chapeau Rouge
3) Exit Club - near our dorms. Quite decent. The others have been in the city centre.
4) Libimetsi Music Club - Stvanice
5) Ocko Music Club
6) Obcanska Plovarna
7) Dubliner - Irish Bar (where I get my American Football on)
8) Nebe Music Bar - this was a real cool place
9) This other Jazz bar..I need to find the name of it...Ha! http://www.bluessklep.cz/
Been here twice already. Once with a large group, and then again in spontaneity with Daniel and Robert...the classic bromance...and Robert tricked me into drinking. Crazy Brit...

FOOD*FOOD*FOOD*FOOD

I've been trying not to spend too much money...especially on eating. So far I've just been eating groceries, and school canteens/menzas. There's also a butt ton of Chinese (Cinske!) and Italian/Pizza places. There's a large neighborhood of Vietnamese people that I haven't checked out yet. However...I've been to a couple of places worth mentioning:

1) Therapy - classic Czech cuisine that is in the centre but not easily accessible by tourists. It is the number 1 charity restaurant in the city. Some of you will be getting Therapy post cards from your's truly!
2) Cafe Savoy - a delicious patisserie and a family member of the Ambiente Restaurants Group in Prague. I will be ticking off each location off my list while I'm here. Hopefully.
3) Klementinum next to Vltava River and Charles Bridge for Tommy's birthday. It wasn't EXCEPTIONAL..but when I really wanted a pasta, I got a really good one. So it was memorable enough. =)
4) Kobe - yeah I know..it's a sushi place. But it was really good, despite the..minor rip off. Who the fuck charges extra for ANY side white rice?

I am so spoiled by Czech prices for food and living. I'll come across a (full) meal for over 100 kc (...lol about 6 USD) and think, No no! Too expensive! At Cafe Savoy I spent less than 300 Kc for a more than satisfying and delicious breakfast...I felt like I lost a limb but in reality..did I? Probably not. I'm going to starve when I get back to the States. Texas, at that.

I freaking LOVE listing things...Went to Munich...With a few other trips coming up...So more listing later.

I started doing homework today. Began research on two of my seminar papers, hopefully finish them this month (though not due til December)...And my other projects I'll try and finish next month. For studying abroad standards...this is unheard of. But whatever man. Still got the 30 year old in me.

Wait..

Nevermind.

SO apparently I'm not an authentic Asian. I know I'm from Texas but...whatever. Anyway back to work.

2010-09-28T19:13:00.004-05:00

Trying so hard to blog! I'll sit down and just...not want to anymore. =( But...for my sake I think I'll do it.

Life has been dandy. I can't say enough how much I LOVE the city. My room-mates have become my best friends fast - Shoshanna (actually spelt Susanna) is a ray of sunshine and Ilona is like, the downest ass chick I have ever met. We all keep coming up with things to do! Every Tuesday night is a Nation2Nation club party - yeah seriously, we go clubbing mid-week and sometimes..again the next night. And of course, Friday and Saturday if not traveling. Usually a country will do a cool little powerpoint reppin' their homeland and we all cheer and shit. Lots of going out - lots of the city to see - and still lots of people to meet.

This morning I had an incredible breakfast. It was fried bacon embedded in 2 sunny-side-up eggs with toast. I also had a croissant and amazing hot strawberry cream tea. It just...totally hit the spot for me - a breakfast that brought me home. It's a gorgeous patisserie also and I intend on visiting each month until I go. It's quite pricey for Czech standards...but typical for US. Eh! Also been shopping...trying really hard not to but..I can't talk about it.

School! I'm taking just under 10 real class-time hours that somehow translates into 14 at UT. Each class typically requires a seminar paper + presentation (which is pretty easy as often as I've been doing it at UT), plus one final test (and it's either a regular test or an oral test). The load should be easy but...geez, finding the effort is tough! Luckily, I am free on Wednesdays and Fridays - and Tuesday/Thursday are really light class days. Shouldn't let myself procrastinate so pathetically...I have 4 90-minute seminars on Monday though..rough day, but it's all with my new friend Tommy - who is SUCH a sweet Norwegian. The best dancer I've ever seen.

What else...Travel? I went to Oktoberfest in Munich, and now I have Dresden, Berlin, Vienna/Budapest/Krakow, and Copenhagen/Aarhus lined up until the start of December. If I ain't no broke-ass nigga by then, might add a few days in Amsterdam. That would be the best bonus to my trip. During the weekdays we have a LOT planned to do in Prague...Opera this Friday! Black light theatre, the ballet <3, the zoo!, hiking in the woods, Prague castle at night, Charles' Bridge at dawn...

Still figuring out how I'm going to dance here...

And! Hopefully I'll be hittin' a bar in the city centre that'll have a live viewing of the OU game this weekend. Holy cow I am excited. There's an Irish bar called Dubliner (which already has so many memories...) that shows college football. Will try to find it again.

Less than three months left!

Finances...

2010-09-22T10:27:00.003-05:00

Let's see...

Round trip to Prague and Houston in December..... ~$1,200
Rent for 4 months in my shady-as-hell dormitories ~$570
plus misc school fees and public transport
Shopping at H&M on Credit card + Ikea + Zara... ~$200

Traveling!

Round trip to Munich via Student Agency Bus... ~$67
Hotel... ~$46
Oktoberfest + misc ~$120 (wait, REALLY?)

Round trip flight to Copenhagen (Oct 27th)... ~$150
Round trip train to Arhus - Copenhagen... ~$81
Free stay, but misc... ~$100?

Thank God food is so cheap in Praha..

la vie en prague..

2010-09-17T06:37:00.003-05:00

I spent my second weekend in Europe going to Oktoberfest in Munich. Which was...actually a lot of fun. I probably wouldn't go again - but it's more of a family event and carnival than a bunch of drunk dudes. I mean, there were drunk dudes. I guess if anything, just multiply the Texas Renaissance Festival by about 10 and you get Oktoberfest. Pictures are on FB.

It is still so warm here in Prague!

Crackin' down though. I got all my classes figured out with Wednesdays and Fridays free (3 Monday, 1 on Tuesday and Thursday!) so I have lots of time. I haven't found a place to dance yet - but hopefully tonight will be promising.

I'm so absolutely in love with being here. Ilona and I wandered around yesterday and grocery shopped at the small 'potraviny' across the street, and one down the road - great produce. I mean, I remember getting on that plane so...nervous and anxious and hesitant. I had no idea how I was going to get by missing my boyfriend, my family, and my friends..how was I going to take care of myself and not get kidnapped or mugged or shot. But those worries just fell down the drain after my second afternoon going to the castle, and coming back on my own without any scrapes. Granted, I definitely miss everyone SO much. I wish they were here with me but...I'm in Europe! I am going to savor every drop of it with every drop of my savings and come home with no regrets - ready to live the rest of my life to the fullest and nurture all that is good in it. A lot of my (college) life was just...having fun but preparing myself for Europe. I KNEW I wanted to do this, and now I am.

The people are great - SO friendly - and everyone speaks English. Which is hilarious because I kind of wanted to practice my Spanish and French, but they want to practice their English! The locals are really great too...most young people speak English and they can help you with simple issues. Of course there are some sleezeballs I've come across but the people are great, so great. Lots of partying! But this is how you meet everyone. I was invited by some Latin Americans to this club in the city centre that is playing Latin dance music (right down my alley) so it will feel SO great to salsa again. Can't wait!

Informative

2010-09-11T04:32:00.003-05:00

So. My flight out of Houston (IAH) was at 3:40 (9/7), and we actually did not take off until about 4:50 which was lame. This made me late for my connection from Amsterdam (AMS) to Prague (PRG), so Continental rebooked me for the next flight to PRG, which was 6 hours away! I guess I could've gone into the city, but I was so stressed out and didn't know what I was doing and how I was going to get back...so I stayed in the huge-ass airport and chilled. Took little naps. Dangerous? I would think so, but I parked myself next to security aaahha.

Anyway...finally arrived in Prague at about...6:30 pm local (9/8), my buddy Monika was there, who is just really great. She got me back to my dorm and I unpacked and met two of three room-mates, Shoshanna and Ilona who are also very cool girls. I actually did not meet my last room-mate (Yoon-ae from Korea) until the week after. Both Shoshanna and Ilona are Finnish, but Ilona was doing her master's in Denmark. I'll be going back there with her in November to see Denmark (particularly Aarhus, but might try to spend a day in Copenhagen).

It's been so great. Been in Prague for about a week now - partied my second, third, and fourth night here (Th, Fr, Sat) and then again last night. There is another party tonight as well. But aside from the good, cheap beer and great exchange students - the city is just gorgeous and its people pleasant. My first week here it has been warm and sunny, but now it's been wet outside. The transportation is pretty easy to get a hang of. More and more I am excited about living here. I feel like I might want to be here longer!

2010-09-10T05:06:00.006-05:00

Remember those plans I had set for 2010? I had totally forgotten about what I was expecting in store for me until Catherine pointed it out. Let's recap and conclude.

1) Alex plans on moving to Plano, finally leaving Mama's nest.

He really, really did. From the sound of it, he is liking it up there. The living with my sister's family part of it, not the 9-5 part of it.

2) Matthew graduates! and will be off to school (Stanford? U. Chicago? Maybe UT?)

Baby brother is at UT - like me he found it a great fit for him, making Alex once again the outcast in our family. Alex is the only one who did not go to Cy-Falls, and now he's the only non-Longhorn. Which is okay because he doesn't care about football anyway. This might change the upcoming season...Anyway. Mama Tran, or rather GRANDMA TRAN, now has an empty nest but...it seems like she's in her prime. She's going clubbing now with my pops, enjoying life and gardening, she has many circles of friends, and she's not the same mom I knew growing up. I guess she's more different and delightful, instead of strict and hard-handed.

3) Mama Tran sells the house up here in Cypress. OH my god..

Well, as of now it's on the (slowly deteriorating) market. I think we might have been able to dodge the market going down for houses this summer if Mom had invested a little more in designing to sell (love this show!) but I think she's much too tired of this place. It's bitter-sweet though. I am going to miss this house. I believe I spent 14 years of my life at 13202 Sycamore Heights St.

5) I will have a kick-ass internship in the summer that will offer me a job when I get back from somewhere.

This is somewhat true. The day of our last class in Spring 2010, Expedia gave me a call about my application to their company. What is weird is that I really don't remember applying but I went through the phone interview and apparently they wanted to hire a temp AND an intern to replace a woman on maternity leave this summer. They are pretty pressured to do this because she's lookin' like she's about to pop any day now (Katrina Moseley - was really great before she left for the baby!). So I was like, well I have family up in Dallas so moving won't be difficult and (more shmooze). I also wouldn't be starting school with the rest of the kids, so I can stay all until September. They were thrilled. I went through to speak to the woman hiring (Jen Mellet, my boss) and we were trying to work something out. Lo and behold! I had NO idea that Jon and Michelle were visiting Austin that weekend...So I said if she'd like, I can literally move to Dallas in two days...Meaning not to return to Austin. Jen totally jumped on that boat so I am here, packing up my apartment, tying some lose ends in a matter of 48 hours to start working in Dallas. Was it worth the stress? Totally.
I won't be offered a job though, which is a shame because I truly enjoyed the team. They won't have any openings but if anything comes up, I do have some great folks there to vouch for me for consideration. This is a lot to say in actuality.

4) I will be studying somewhere, somehow overseas.

Done! Your's truly is in Prague, Czech Republic for the next four months!

Some other things happened that I wasn't foreseeing - my sister had a baby August 17th. Baby Logan Vuong Meehan - the CUTEST thing to ever enter the realms of the earth. I'm not just saying this because I'm his auntie...he really IS the cutest thing I have ever seen. The funny thing is that he was born 4 weeks early. I would never have asked for the strain he would have to go through as a premie (though he's incredibly great now)...but I am definitely glad he showed up to play with Aunt Mandy before she had to go.

It's like he knew.

2010-01-26T00:43:00.001-06:00

Tired. That's all.

2010-01-01T19:25:00.002-06:00

Omigod I forgot this shit was still up.

Happy New Year! Hopefully I'll be finding the time and effort to post this year. The past semester had me working hard, hard hard. Which is okay because for the most part, I made all freaking A's. Damn you, +/- system! Anyhoo, I really should start posting because a lot of changes are lining up for 2010, starting this month!

1) Alex plans on moving to Plano, finally leaving Mama's nest.
2) Matthew graduates! and will be off to school (Stanford? U. Chicago? Maybe UT?)
3) Mama Tran sells the house up here in Cypress. OH my god..
4) I will be studying somewhere, somehow overseas.
5) I will have a kick-ass internship in the summer that will offer me a job when I get back from somewhere.

Okay no. 5 is more or less just a goal, but golly gee damn I will make it happen!

Teeny Tiny Tidbits

2009-09-03T21:51:00.003-05:00

Nutcups. I think they're great for baking. The only thing is that it's hard to get off.

I've tried some different baking recipes. There's a flourless recipe...it turned out alright. I was uncomfortable with the recipe...nervous about the texture. But the texture turned out "right". Just a bit more dense, it was moist. In fact, Justinn preferred it.

I also tried an eggless recipe. Cherry Choke Chocolate Cupcakes. I really don't think I'd try it again. At least not without some changes. The idea of cherry choke chocolate cake still excites me and I think it can be very delicious. But it was okay...I don't work a lot with cocoa powder..I just like mixing in melted chocolate chips for my chocolate recipes. So the sweetness was off. Meh.

So..a few experiments with recipes. They don't always turn out the best, and I've mentioned before that I've had lucky first shots in baking many times. I guess these times were just different, or the recipes themselves sucked. I got them out of the 100 Cupcakes book. I'd hyperlink it, but I'm really tired and lazy and just don't feel like it.

Some more things...Pregnancy.

SORRY DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE YOU. I'm not pregnant. But four girls I was friends with back in highschool are/were pregnant in the last 2 years. And you know what? I really admire that. Whether or not they were surprises or planned babies, I absolutely admire these girls' bravery. Of course, as far as I know it seems like they have very grounded support systems...so that's a huge blessing. I can only hope that if I find myself in the same boat I'll see the same support from my family, my friends, my baby-daddy. It's scary, that thought. At least I won't have to worry about the 'teenage mother' label ever. I'm 20 years old!

Not that I'm planning ANYTHING..But I want to at least hold off from getting knocked up until I'm back from Prague next fall. Short term goals, you know.

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/hans_rosling_shows_the_best_stats_you_ve_ever_seen.html

I think that's a really great video. Been watching a lot of stuff on http://www.ted.com. Really great stuff, folks.

Also I'm taking 16 hours of class. It's not alot alot...but it kind of exhausts me.

I'm authorized rep for Ballroom. Lots of obligations there.

Jordan and I really need to practice.

Like, really.

I just..

un nouveau semestre

2009-08-30T12:32:00.002-05:00

Um. As happy as I am with my semester, it isn't my semester YET until I can confirm with my study abroad adviser what my schedule in PRAGUE should be like next fall. It would affect this semester. Something about saving some classes because I have to take at least 2 business classes abroad. Anyway, so that's that. I can't really buy my books yet, considering the non-confirmation of my schedule, so I'll be behind in reading from the start.

I really don't want school to start. I'm sitting here, looking at all my syllabus thinking, "Geez, here we go again.."

Readings, cases, tests, group projects. And thinking about it makes me not anticipate dance either...how will I manage to enjoy it with all this work on my shoulders?

Plus I have all this food in my fridge that will spoil in the next week I don't know what to do with.

Justinn came to be with me this last Wednesday. He left yesterday...our start into our usual regime during the semester: visits every other weekend, or less, calls every night. I call him every morning on weekends. We've been together a long time now, and it doesn't feel that way. What is it..20 months now? It's so easy being with him. And the best part is that even now, I still want him. More than when we started.

I don't want to post anymore.

ce semestre

2009-08-20T00:00:00.006-05:00

nothing. not ready.

but summer went by too fast. and i'm so glad i'm not working this last week. destin was just amazing. and i started baking again. and this post has no capitalization because i'm at a really awkward angle in bed and the shift key is just too inconveniently placed for my pinky from here.

but i shouldn't be talking about inconvenience and typing because i am, so far, the only person i know that hits the spacebar with their index finger. not my thumb.

let me know if there;s someone else as weird as i am, kay?

Swift

2009-07-30T12:53:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I was at work and my boss brought in her three, PRETEEN daughters. And then left.

I had no idea that babysitting was part of my job description. But I'm doing a little bit of everything here anyway, so why the hell not?

The girls and I ate and they watched music videos on my laptop while I worked. We also talked, they asked me about all my boyfriends, which was uncomfortable. Trying to set an example, I said I've only had one, Justinn, who I am still with and I didn't start dating until I got to college. Ha...

They got into my facebook, since I left my password, and went through ALL my pictures, even some of the prom ones I still had up. They raved about my dress, and then asked about the "ugly guy" I went to prom with. I don't know what to think about that.

Anyway, said it was some guy. We don't talk. Kicked them off facebook (and my purse, at that) (AND my phone). And they continued watching Taylor Swift on YouTube, taught me the words to 'You Belong With Me' and I sang along with them. Afterwards they told me I sounded just like Taylor Swift and I could totally be a country pop singer. I don't know what to think about that either.

So then they went BACK to the boyfriend subject, said that Ilana also liked a boy named Justinn. They went back on my facebook when I thought they were watching the Harry Potter movie I snuck in for myself, and found Justinn's FB page and said he was cute and muscley. They liked the pictures of him in those styrofoam wigs, which makes me wonder how long they were at FB because those are really old pictures. And they also liked the one of him shirtless. Me too.

And then I switched laptops with them and explained that they were not allowed a facebook until they were 18. And they said that their classmates have them and I said their classmates lied about their age and FB is really dangerous bc FB steals your pictures and sells them to other people, even the creepy ones.

True story.

Mystery

2009-06-28T00:04:00.002-05:00

Justinn is in Costa Rica and I think I'm doing okay without him. For now.

Aside from dancing, working, and trying to conserve gasoline, I've been playing the Sims. And hanging out with my parents.

I've realized lately that I want to know my parents. I mean, I KNOW them.. and I know how they are, how they act...I appreciate them...but I want to know their stories. I found their old pictures and they looked like they had so much fun, whatever they are doing. My mom was gorgeous, with her small smile I think I inherited. My dad was quite handsome, the dapper young man. You can just tell he was charming. He still is. For some reason after browsing through them, I felt like I didn't know my parents. They're so different right now, with responsibilities and work and family...and when you're raising kids, you have to set an example so there's a lot of self censorship. I experienced this when working at the YMCA.

Anyway. Two incidents this summer where I would sit down with my mom and her sisters and they would just talk about how they grew up..mostly about their life in America.

"God I just couldn't wait to get married! Then I wouldn't have to keep giving Grandma my paychecks."

And we would all laugh because it's true. I just asked and asked and asked questions. How Co Khoi was like when she was younger, how my mom was, how Peanut was when she was in college, has Co Dung always had attitude, and what about the 2 boys...What? Cau Tuan just ran off at the age of 12 for a week? With neighbor friends?! WITH MONEY HE STOLE FROM GRANDMA?

I asked about the pictures, how old they were...I just couldn't get enough. I was curious who I might take after, with my own person, and who else takes after who else. There is a lot of ground to cover with such a huge family. What more, I really don't know my mom as much as my dad. She was always the discipliner, working, passive. In the recent years she's opened up her personality and I see how innately good she is, her passion for purses...expensive ones. For the first time, I am seeing how much my mom looooves to laugh. She's also a lot friendlier than I thought...and a bit absent minded. My sister and I inherited that... Mama loves to garden. Her favorite flowers are tulips and roses. Surprisingly enough..Mom has a lot to say. She's always been quiet, and kept to herself.

My dad will tell me stories in our weekend lunches. I like asking about us kids and how we were as children. Because I can't remember. I ask him about his mom, my grandmother I never had the pleasure to meet. I hesitate a lot, wondering how hard it is for him to reminisce. I think my dad's incredibly passionate. He has thick skin though. I wonder how my father developed the patience and 'chill' he is notorious for. His easy sense of humor, and the hidden charm.

I even ask Justinn's parents what he was like. "Terrible." "We wanted to give him away!" "The little devil!" "5 trips to the emergency room before he was 7 years old!" And Mr. And Mrs. General would look at each other and smile fondly.

It's nice.

The Master Bitch of Houston

2009-06-24T10:32:00.004-05:00

So three-ish years ago my sister became engaged and hired Lauren Swarts with The Master Plan to be our wedding planner. She was great up until homegirl went AWOL with our deposit of $1,100. Of course, the stress of the wedding coming up coupled with the stress of not having our middleman with all of our vendors really had everyone's panties in a bunch. We ended getting another planner, who was just amazing, had a beautiful wedding, and just forgot about her.

Still active in the wedding community, my sister found out Lauren is now working at the Alden in Houston. I haven't gone to get krunk on that fat ho yet but finally SOME litigation is going through, after many futile attempts.

If you were victimized by a heavy-set woman named Lauren (Swarts, MacQueen, or Thompson), please let me know. A criminal charge is now against her, guided by another scorned bride with the District Attorney. Witnesses wanted! Currently, she has 12 witnesses, and we all know there are more. Contact me for more information or if you'd like to help.

Seriously? Con artist mistake number 1 - Staying in the same god-damn community. At least get out of the CITY.

Strong baby.

2009-06-16T14:45:00.002-05:00

Been watching this a lot with my brothers and my boyfriend, along with himym (except with himym switch out boyfriend with room-mate).

Other things I've been doing:

Playing video games with Justinn. Which I love because everytime I win/complete chapter/kill a zombie/kill a terrorist, he gives me a hug. And there's been a LOT of hugs.

Playing the sims3. Don't judge me!

Working, or something.

Dancing now and then.

Sleeping. Eating. Etc.

You know what I stopped doing? Hittin' the gym. Nic would have me tortured if he found out, so don't tell him. But here's where I left off:

Squat 75lbs
Bench 70lbs
Shoulder press 40lbs
Dead-lift 105lbs

I really, absolutely miss my regime. 3 days a week, full routine + core, followed by 90 minutes of dance. Unless I'm practicing jive. Which would be 45min.

I'll have to figure out my substitute. Currently it's just a bunch of sets of wall sits, push-ups (I can now do 15 EASY), chin up, and one-legged squats. And dance. And the occasional light-saber battle with Justinn.

Lol I can't find the ghetto 24 hour gym video. It's a bunch of black guys gettin' strong using stuff on the playgrounds in parks. "Gon' dislocate all yo shit."

2009-06-14T22:56:00.003-05:00

Justinn's working at the YMCA again. Day camp counselor, 9-year olds. Just hearing about his first week, the canoeing, field-trips, hiking and building forts and FUN FRIDAY, a day of counselor-humiliation for the sake of childish entertainment...it all made me reminisce.

Shaving cream, ketchup, pickle juice, any condiment really, corned beef...All I'll say is that you basically cook yourself in it since you're outside for 10 hours.

I almost miss it.

Almost.

What I miss was working with Justinn. He and I both did the gig two summers ago, which really made us become good, good friends. He would always be the first to hear about my relationship doubts with the, now, ex-boyfriend. I got to see him almost 30 hours a week in addition to weekends, and we would always talk about the kids. The kids were all we COULD talk about, and all we wanted to talk about. They weren't kidding at training when they said that seeing the kids so much would make us think about them all the time. Anyway...that's just me reminiscing. It was real test on myself as well, working with children. I even took care of a girl, 16 years old with down's syndrome. I was terrified, just absolutely terrified of her. I was already terrified that I would ever give birth to a baby so handicapped in life. But I honestly just grew to love her. I loved all the kids I had. And it's scary now reflecting on how rapid our relationships grew. I mean, The kids were with us for 10 hours a day. They were picked up at 6, and spent maybe...4 hours tops with their parents at home, just eating dinner and getting ready for bed. The 15 or so girls that usually claimed me as their counselor, much to everyone else's pouts of unfairness (I was THAT awesome and could only take 10 each day), picked up a lot of my habits, so I had to be careful with myself. That is terrifying.

The crappy part, especially dealing with girls, was the drama. Yes, drama exists between girls of ALL ages. Give a girl a boy to like, and there will be drama. Give a girl a best friend that has other friends, DRAMA. Oh my god if you put 2 girls together for too long, there will be drama and all hell raises. The drama that seemed petty to me and the other counselors were life and death to the girls. It was so weird. And you know, telling them to ignore it, leave it alone will never ever work because, they don't see it the way anyone else does. So the best thing was teaching them about drama. I don't know much about it..I never was involved in drama of any sort that had to do with another...peer.

My parents separated when I was 13, I lost my best friend in a car accident when I was 15. I know now what matters in life. My pride doesn't get to me. I don't let it.

Here's what I said about drama:

It is purely based on assumption, things you WANT to tell yourself because it makes yourself a bigger, better person. How do you know if people are personally or silently attacking you if you don't ask them yourself? Making assumptions puts you in a hole that you can't get out of. If you're going to CALL it drama, well then, for you...it's drama. And that isn't any one else's problem but your's.

It worked for some girls and I was elated. They gave me no further trouble.

For others, they were just too proud.

I gave them 8 years.

Something about ballroom:

It is definitely not immune to drama.

2009-06-09T13:51:00.002-05:00

Something about ballroom:

It's perfectly normal for a man to grab your hips, rotate them, and say, "Open your hips MORE darling. MORE."

No, really. It's okay.

Tans and Business Suits

2009-05-21T22:10:00.002-05:00

To do:

1) Cypress Dance Studio - Check out coaches for the summer?
2) Start new office job/intern
3) Tour FKM with Bao
4) Email Bao about availability
5) Choreograph and demo dance routine for TxB
6) Think of fundraising ideas
7) Get Money, Get Paid

8) Shop
9) Dance
10) Love

Also. Brunch with one of my Sophias tomorrow. We're making omelets!

It's about time...

2009-05-08T00:33:00.003-05:00

that I go home for the weekend. I know that school's end is barely around the corner..

but it's Mother's Day weekend, and I really miss mi familia..

MATTnguyen109: i was earlier just bumming because i didn't think you were coming home

...a lot.

Dumb girls are better at ballroom than smart ones.

2009-05-05T23:30:00.005-05:00

This concept of lead and follow...I like it.

Especially the following part.

I don't think I'm an aggressive person, but I am definitely take-charge. I never had the patience to 'wait and see' and if something needed to be done, I'll be the first to do it. I'm not one to be victim to the by-stander effect. I watched a girl's bike slip from under her and I couldn't believe that the people closer to her than I was didn't do much. They would've beat me to her, helping her gather her books, offering a tissue to wipe the dirt from her scrapes. But no. Not that I minded helping her, I was just a little disappointed in..people.

Anyway, that element of me proved really difficult to overcome when I began ballroom. In the process of learning new figures, I tend to learn faster than whatever guy I'm dancing with in a group class, and I'll be the one leading the move. Plenty of guys have called me out on it. The instructors called me out on it. It's just hard. This is when I began learning to be patient, waiting for the right lead to a certain path.

A lot of what I've learned in standard dancing has been translated into how I lived my life this semester. Aside from being academically productive in class and somehow meeting all the deadlines that aggregated at the end of this semester..

I've just been following life's demands. Sounds cheesy.. but I'm giving the world a chance to show me what I'm supposed to do. Like how I wait for the slightest shift from my partner, that nudge permeating through my body to put me onto the right foot, so I know which leg to move out of his way while he leads me into a certain figure, getting me out of corners. All the while, I'm doing my part to make it easier for him to lead me.

For short-term results, like class, I'll be take charge. But..geez. People have been asking me what I'll be doing this summer and for the most part, I don't have much to tell them. I'll be in Houston, making my way, probably dancing a lot more, working perhaps? I'll be checking out FKM ad agency as soon as I get into town, so I'll wait and see how that goes.

The question is..what do I do while I wait? If this were the floor, I suppose..lighten up my mind, my body, sway my shoulders and torso the right way, look left..give life room to move so it can move me.

And then be ready for a lead to follow.

Pituras.

2009-05-01T11:15:00.007-05:00

Pictures are up from Austin Open Ballroom Competition 2009. It was a damn fine competition. Amazing turn out in competitors and spectators. Too bad you missed it. Sersly.

click here.
You need a password to see them. I won't give it to you here...but the password is:
1) 2 words, no spaces.
2) a Latin move
3) what you call a person from a particular state up north in the US.

Special thanks to Hieu Nguyen and Kenneth Tran for coming out and taking the time to get some awesome shots of the comp. A LOT of movement was going on, so they (especially Hieu!) really stuck it out for us and did their best. Albeit fuzzy, we really couldn't have asked for better images.

Of course, if you're looking through them - expect some really awkward in-between-steps-and-figures shots. Especially of me. Especially in Latin. SOKAYIWONANYWAY.

wut

2009-04-22T10:50:00.003-05:00

Cleaning out my facebook inbox. I found something I missed back in January.

Oh my god.

Meep.

2009-04-21T21:27:00.006-05:00

Just a few things:

1. I like numbering.
2. I get asked if I have to pee a lot. That's probably because when I stand, my ankles are crossed.
3. My MAN/OB teacher says that for extra credit, I can play Bach's Double concerto with him. A violin duet. It's not a hard piece and completely doable. I just think it's worth mentioning. He's a cool teacher.
4. My birthday was wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. Except I got sick. But the birthday weekend was wonderful. That's what I meant.
5. I didn't go to copa. Because I got sick.
6. Six sounds like sick.
7. Austin Open 2009. Couple 109 & 126. Results here and pictures to be posted.

Something about ballroom:

My parents love it.

geez

2009-04-13T10:44:00.001-05:00

My toenail finally came off. It's trippin' me out, dude.

Something about ballroom: Sometimes people step on you.

But really you stepped on yourself because the music was too fast for that cha-cha lock into a spiral turn.

I blame my leader.

peep show

2009-04-10T15:53:00.002-05:00

Happy Easter!

I have to.

2009-04-08T23:45:00.004-05:00

I shouldn't write this. But maybe I should. Maybe it would do some good. Maybe I should stop using the word 'maybe' because, maybe the word 'maybe' is what is causing the tension in the first place.

Just because you turn around doesn't mean I don't see you. Yes you're standing there, in my path. I didn't deliberately choose that path because you were there. Like our relationship, you just happened to be there and sometimes it's too late for me to do anything about it. Yet again, what IS there for me to do? Nothing! It's been 1+ years and you still turn around, avoiding things like you did all your life. You say I walk with an air of vindictiveness but that's really just you, isn't it? Maybe you're guilty about something.

Ah, there's the 'maybe' again.

I'm just going about my daily life, I'm fine, and so are you. Right? There's no need to react. 1 of 2 things:

1) Pretend like you don't know me. I don't believe you ever did, anyway. OR
2) Catch my eye and smile like old friends do. God knows that's what I'm doing.

The Many Times

2009-04-01T17:51:00.004-05:00

Wee it's April. The prettiest month in the year, I think.

It's a good time to start April. Last week, the week that welcomed us back from Spring Break, was well, hardly welcoming. It seemed about the same for most of the students here at UT. What the heck, man?

In any case, that week is over and it's a new, new month with plenty to look forward to.

1) Birthday. It's on Tuesday. I wanted to go home to Houston this weekend to continue the tradition of a joint birthday with Alex but I don't think it will follow through. At least what I am looking forward to is Justinn's visit. Two weeks without is doable until school makes its demands. Because then all you want is to come home after a long day, not to a room-mate's obnoxious declarations of being hungry, but to a sweet someone who greets you with a hug after being away even 10 minutes. We don't have the weekend planned yet that's quite alright. These days, I find complete happiness just lazying around Friday nights on a couch watching stuff on TV.

2) Copa next Thursday. For dirt cheap. $5 - 18, $3 - 21! I am really looking forward to this social.

3) 18th. Austin Open Ballroom Competition - Texas Union Ballroom! With Jordan, I will be competing in silver cha-cha, rumba, and samba; silver waltz (tango?)...and a bronze jive. Nic is a pending partner of mine (HURRY UP!), we'll be competing in international standard. I can't believe we only have 3 weeks and I have what, a thousand routines to practice? It'll be quite a show. Jordan you better not suck 'cause I'm gon' look HOT.

Inserted: 23rd. Formal dinner with some important people who have something to do with student organizations. Iono but I get to look really nice and eat expensively but not expensively. So that's cool.

1 test each week and lots of group projects to finish.

4) 25th. Austin Dance Festival - Again in the Texas Union Ballroom. It'll be a big party and a live orchestra. Freakin' YES. $12 cover for UT students, which includes 2 cha cha workshops with Yulia and Riccardo. I wonder how crowded it will be...

So I've avoided blogging about ballroom since it became part of my life. I'm not sure what 'part of my life' means...But I have invested a couple of hundred dollars in it so..yeah. Also - I plan on continuing my pursuits in dance for as long as I can. Anyway, I don't know why I kept from mentioning something I've been committing so much of my time to..but since it's April, now is a good time to start.

2009-03-24T13:37:00.002-05:00

Andre: Change is good, unless it's bad. In that case, change is not good.

Makes me wonder if it can ever be that simple.

But for now I think I'll just laugh.

'Cause Andre's funny.

Regurgitate.

2009-03-07T12:25:00.002-06:00

Is it March already?

I have plenty to write about. But I can't seem to let it flow coherently from my memories and my mind and my thoughts through my fingers that hit these keys and into this comment box where I write new blog entries.

But here goes.

I neglected writing about Europe. It was amazing. Being with the family for two weeks, laughing at the same things, observing the people and how European girls take their pictures funny. Being a little tipsy with my sister in Lucerne wondering where my brother and his girlfriend's room and hallway went. It seriously just disappeared. Watching Matthew ruin all of Alex's shots, my dad disappearing every now and then for a smoke, consoling his withdrawals from pho with a cigarette and a new, detailed tourist book for every city we went to. My dad's adorable. My mom and her hats and scarfs and her credit card and her Louis. Eddy our tour guide claiming amazement at the unnatural booriful broo sky that never happens in London. Crap food 90% of the time. Squid ink pasta which was super gross. Beautiful people in Switzerland. Le Louvre and the wonderful piece of ornately scupted architecture that it is. Italy...Just Italy. Venice and the unique lifestyle that is trapped in the gorgeous, narrow alleys that makes up the city/islands. Rome and shopping. Valentino's home and headquarters. Spanish Steps and a couple making out. Walking for hours and forever.

Coming home, losing our luggage that had all our car keys. Stuck at the airport for hours, Justinn impatiently awaiting my homecoming. Aw.

I used to get offended when people mentioned how America lacks culture. I get it now. But then again, we are centuries and centuries behind.

Schoolllllll. Ballroommmmm. Valentine's Day! That was nice..
Currently seeing my boyfriend every two weeks. Consistently. It's getting harder. And it's going to be difficult to accept that this will be our romantic lifestyle for 2 more years, plus a potential summer internship out of state that I want so, so bad...and my plans to study abroad next spring. But I don't want to think about that right now.

Last weekend was refreshing. I had been working adamently in school, needed a companion, so I surprised my baby on Thursday...Uh. Not knowing he had 2 tests the next day but, I let him study. I don't know. It was just nice, being with him. Forgetting school for a weekend, getting to see how he lives his weekends. Meeting his really funny friends. Ultimate frisbee with 18 people. Shopping in College Station (I know, I know). Silly games at midnight. Street Fighter 4. Church on Sunday morning. His terrible singing. Holding hands, watching eachother, praising eachother for awesome frisbee catches. Falling in love, over and over again.

And then coming back for a week of school, dance, weekend of studying, teststeststests. Hopefully celebrating our survival Thursday at Copa. And then I can't wait to go home.

2009-02-19T12:51:00.000-06:00

nevermind. i found a book.

busy or something.

2009-02-19T12:36:00.001-06:00

sitting in the mil lab before marketing at 2pm.

I'm wondering if I purposely left my books at home so that I have an excuse to do absolutely nothing in this two hour chunk in between classes. The last couple of weeks has had me working diligently.

so
i deserve nothing.
and it feels good.

how i've tried living my life since i was Little.

2009-01-25T13:13:00.005-06:00

"Strolling along the edge of the sea, a man catches sight of a young woman who appears to be engaged in a ritual dance. She stoops down, then straightens to her full height, casting her arm out in an arc. Drawing closer, he sees that the beach around her is littered with starfish, and she is throwing them one by one into the sea. He lightly mocks her. "There are stranded starfish as far as the eye can see, for miles up the beach. What difference can saving a few of them possibly make?" Smiling, she bends down and once more tosses a starfish out over the water, saying serenely, "It certainly makes a difference to this one."

Unlike success and failure, contribution has no other side.

P&N

2009-01-23T10:55:00.005-06:00

I'm jealous of my man. He has perfect skin all over. Girls, his back is so smooth and soft..It's hard for me to resist running my hand under his shirt and up his back even in public! J doesn't do anything special either, just bar soap, works out..I'm convinced the muscles that hug his backside help smooth out his skin as well. It's unbearable.

I never went out of my way to do anything special for my skin. It's decent I guess. I'm spotted all over with these charming little dots; they're not quite freckles and definitely not moles. For the most part, I'm pretty soft myself. Until...

I've been using organic hand-soap by the Savannah Bee Company for a little over a year. After that, I switched to P&N all natural body care, coupled with this super awesome bamboo wash cloth, and it's made a huge difference not only in how my skin feels, but how clean it is. Perhaps it's just all in my head but I even feel cleaner. The scent is really subtle and soothing. Pretty affordable as well. The bar soap is about 4 bucks, the big bottle of body wash averages about 6. Available at most major grocery stores.

I've also developed another lesbian crush on Rose Byrne.
And no, you don't look like her. Not in the least.

Messy.

2009-01-20T12:51:00.007-06:00

Trying out a baking recipe is like going on a first date. Nervous, anticipating...and on the first attempt, you're not really supposed to change anything about the guy or the recipe. The golden rule in baking is to measure precisely - unlike cooking which is always to taste. Anyway...Another lucky feature in my charmed life - I've always gotten away with a successful first attempt of a recipe.

I wish I had pictures. The holidays proved much too busy for me to do so. I think Alex took a picture of me in action - if I find it I'll post it up. But the last recipe I tried was a tiramisu cake which resulted in a fabulous piece of fluff that melted in your mouth. The first time I made it was in my apartment to surprise my boyfriend for his birthday. I used the following cake recipe from the book Baking: From My Home to Yours

For the cake
2 cups cake flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/8 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/4 sticks(10 tbsp) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup sugar
3 large eggs
1 large egg yolk
1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
3/4 cup buttermilk

Center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 350F. Butter two 9x2 inch round cake pans, dust the inside with flour, tap out the excess and line the bottoms of the pan with parchment or wax paper. Put the pans on baking sheet.

Sift together the cake flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt.

Beat the butter on medium speed until soft and creamy. Add the sugar and beat for another 3 minutes. Add the eggs, one by one, and then the yolk, beating for one minute after each addition. Beat in the vanilla; don't be concerned if the mixture looks curdled. Reduce the mixer speed to low and add the dry ingredients alternately with the buttermilk. adding the dry ingredients in 3 additions and the milk in 2 (begin and end with the dry ingredients); scrape down the sides of the bowl as needed and mix only until the ingredients disappear into the batter. Divide the batter evenly between the two pans and smooth the tops with a rubber spatula.

Bake for 28 minutes, or until springy and toothpick comes out clean.

ADAPTED:
1) I didn't use cake flour. I used 2 cups of regular flour, sifted and sifted, minus 3 tablespoons of flour. Why? Cake flour is fluffier and lighter. Regular all purpose tends to be thicker. Which is why I sifted and why I cut back.
2) Also instead of buttermilk, I just used regular whole milk. I hear you can substitute same amount of milk with a squeeze of lemon for buttermilk. I didn't care to go out and buy a lemon. It came out wonderful nonetheless.
3) I used a 2 regular cookie sheets to bake it in, with the wax paper and the sifted flour and the greasing. It baked in exactly 14 minutes to perfection. EUNICE had more than a taste. She ripped out a huge corner and started gnawing on it. I was so shocked and amused that I didn't get mad. And nothing was ruined - tiramisu is a big mess of awesome anyway.

Filling is adapted from Tyler Florence's Zabaglione - [a custard]
4 large egg yolks
1/4 cup of sugar
[He adds some Marsala wine to his custard. I'm not 21 yet. ;P]

Whip egg yolks until foamy, then continue whisking egg yolks over a double boiler for 5 minutes. Amount should double.
- As the zabaglione was warming, I added a quarter cup of chocolate chips to make a chocolate custard.

To also fill - I made whipped cream, whipped heavy cream and some confectioner's sugar. Amount is really to your discretion. It's just to fill. ;P
In addition - espresso and sugar to taste + kahlua to brush over cakes.

SO! Start with one layer of cake, brush with espresso mixture - I like to make it halfway soggy.
Spread the zabaglione, using a third of the mixture, then dollop whipped cream. You basically do the same with all the layers and can choose to top in different ways. Cover with whipped cream and top off with some sifted cocoa powder, or shaved chocolate.
I like making a ganache (chocolate and whipping cream to desired consistency, melted and mixed over a double boiler) poured over the cake for a smooth, shiny look. It's a messy process, I don't really recommend it.

This is the most unorganized recipe I've ever written.

Lying again.

2009-01-07T11:39:00.004-06:00

I have a lot to say. I want to talk about:
+Europe
+Baking
+Meditation

but I'm lazy. Maybe later. Or never. But I'll leave you with this...

I watched 4 Audrey Hepburn movies on the plane. Last time I watched so many was so long ago when I forced Jimmy to watch them with me and he didn't fall asleep. I love them. And I rediscovered a want that I've had deep in my heart ever since I was 8.

Golly gee damn I will have one. I promise I'll have one. And it'll be better than this one.

All About My Baby

2008-12-22T23:53:00.011-06:00

I'm dreading the next few nights. Maybe the next 2 weeks. It's sad, really. Or maybe it's sweet. Your call.

But I will not hear his voice, let alone his laugh, for 2 and a half weeks. Knowing this makes me really uncomfortable.

beobachter777: and i thought you were strong

pandamanda47: well. i fell in love with him again in the last couple of days so.

pandamanda47: i'm kind of back at square 1.

pandamanda47: ish.

beobachter777: understandable

Good.

2008-12-22T18:14:00.008-06:00

I'll be on hiatus for a while. It's not because I live an uneventful life. I live a very eventful life with little time to sit down and write about it. This blog really is the last thing on my mind and I think I'm very blessed to have been able to get to it so often. What can I say? Je suis travailleuse. The only blog entries I expect to write after this is a baking one since I'm taking over my mom's Yule Log this year, and an entry to at least post some pictures of Europe. Uploading them is a hassle.

This afternoon I saw Justinn off to the airport. He'll be in Amsterdam, then Istanbul, and then Athens and Napoli. I'll be in Europe as well come the 26th. A very typical tour: London, Paris, Lucerne, Venice and Rome. Nonetheless excited. I will not see the man for 2 weeks. I hope he doesn't join any protests in Athens. I also hope he knows that I am not looking forward to sleeping tonight without hearing his goodnights first. Bah.

This is very girly of me but all I want to do right now is talk about Justinn. People expect it of me. But it's just because he fits so much into my life that I always have something to say. I realize I've mentioned him a lot in previous entries but more so about how I feel about him. So now, I'll go ahead and explain the reasons for how I feel.

J is incredibly genuine and holds this sense of neutrality that is endearing to me. For someone as informed and intelligent as he, he's the most unbiased person I've ever crossed paths with. It's never indifference - he's passionate and thoughtful. Very thoughtful. Strong. Willed. He also knows a lot of people and remembers them all and goes out of his way to say hello. Because "why not"? That's sort of become his motto.
He isn't without flaws of course - although these are negligible because he always tries to overcome them. We have a lot of discussions, but emotional, delicate discussions aren't really his forte; this is just a product of how refreshingly simple and straight forward he is. He doesn't like to dwell on feelings and why he has them. He just knows that they're there. Knowing me, sometimes that isn't enough. Sometimes, his timing is off too. He's quick to do a lot of things, changing topics when I'm not ready, speaking too fast without thinking, sipping very hot soup...But I don't complain because he definitely tries. He tries. And to me, trying is more than enough.
I also just mentioned that he's informed. More than me, I'm afraid to admit. I think he's lived a charmed life like I have. But that doesn't make either of us naive.
Justinn's goofy though. He's always making me laugh and smile and his laugh has made me laugh since eighth grade. He's affectionate, oh incredibly affectionate. He likes to be babied by me, which I think is hilarious but it's okay because he keeps me warm in return.

And there was also something else. Something that revealed itself to me when we interviewed each other one night before I fell asleep in his arms. Comfortable arms. The muscles help.

He wants to take care of me. Whether or not he can or I let him. He wants to. And that touches me because...I don't know.

2008-12-22T18:12:00.004-06:00

"because it's a beautiful world after all and sometimes you have to kiss someone. "

Wee.

2008-12-21T14:04:00.005-06:00

I received a very unexpected email today from Xanga. Yes, Xanga. You know, from high school. The HTML of which we were tweaking and playing with right before Tom Anderson delighted us with the magic of MySpace. Xanga.

Hey pandamanda7!
Profile Photo
derfvcx just posted a comment on your weblog entry!

DERFVX? BM?! Byung Min?! Thomas? Tommy?? Aw. He and I used to talk online a lot, we never met but, we always made each other laugh. I know that online "lol"'s are always pretty skeptical I always laughed out-loud. He was such a funny kid.

That really surprised me. Xanga..It took me back in a time portal as I read all my very few but very interesting posts from senior year. I think I left Xanga on a good note. Here's a link to my last post.

It seemed a fitting time to rediscover all this since two days ago I went back to my high school to see my orchestra conductor

(PS: Who wants to holla a shout-out to Andre Nguyen. He tells stories about you sometimes ya know? From your one-note wonder at region auditions to that awesome portrait you did of him and your crazy stand set up so that you don't have a turn pages...)

I also visited Mrs. Fitzgerald whose bold and quirky personality never fails to make me smile.
It was quite surreal. Walking through those old halls, new carpet, holding hands with Justinn. Justinn, who back in high school I would NEVER touch. Ever. We didn't even hug and now, he hugs and hugs and hugs me all the time.

Wolf whistles.

2008-12-18T12:44:00.002-06:00

I get hit on randomly sometimes. I never noticed until this guy Mike pointed it out to me, and helped me keep count at when I go out. Justinn actually likes finding out how many hits I get. He derives some obscure sense of pride in it.

And then all semester while walking to my bus stop I get the occasional honk and hoot. I'm not trying to be cocky (bahaha) but if he isn't honking at me, he's honking at the nice looking, middle aged lady in scrubs on the other side of the street. But I dunno. I suppose that's hot too; or dude was excited about something else he had an impulse to honk. Who knows?

And then I got hit on on the road today. Homeboy was driving and tried to be steady with my driving and gave me a wink when I looked.

What do you do with all that?

I usually just roll my eyes. They're just sleazy, we all know this. But then I can't help but smile and think to myself, "Thank god."

Lol.

Scandalous.

2008-12-15T15:27:00.007-06:00

I think strippers are one of the nicest people I've ever met. Er. The good strippers, I mean. I got a lap dance from a nice girl called 'Athena' at Sugar's Cabaret. She was so spunky. And so soft. You know, you just have to support the local economy.

Saturday evening my sister and her friends had a lady named SaraLynn from StripXpertease come and teach us basic stripping techniques and moves (and a rushed, crash course on lap dances). That was super fun. And stripteasing is really difficult - especially for a bunch of girls in the corporate? world - we have no idea what it means to be slow. And slower really IS better. It's also difficult to keep moving, sloooowww, and remember all the things that are different between exotic dancing and porn star dancing - making sure you don't do the latter. It was fun. And Saralynn was really great.

It was quite an insightful lesson, as well. SL was right - I've never caressed my body before, I really don't know what I feel like. So I took the time out to really study my body the other night and it's an eye opener. You take the time to find out things you love about your body and how it looks at different angles. It helps you present yourself better.

What do I love? My shoulders. My butt. I have a pretty tight stomach, and shapely legs, even though I'm short. And my breasts are a good size. What was it from the Science of Sleep? Friendly and unpretentious. I also have a long torso and a narrow waist, that according to J, shows off the curves that I actually have despite that I'm going to be one of those "skinny bitches" the rest of my life.

That all doesn't matter though. I'd rather have a little give or take on me. It's softer. And down to earth guys would rather have something to grab, naw sayin?

You actually don't find perfect bodies at the strip club. Of course some fake tits here and there - but for the most part they're very natural. A bunch of college girls just trying to put themselves through school, ya know? Athena was thick and REALLY SOFT, she had petite titties and a big butt. One wouldn't say she was ideal but she was still really hot. She conveyed a lot of confidence (I guess you kind of have to) and also? She didn't slouch.

There was a taller, thinner girl on stage with bigger jigglies and nice hips but she just wasn't as nice to look at. Because she slouched. And was kind of bony.

I'm going to eat more chips.

Friend.

2008-12-09T23:42:00.000-06:00

FroggyRoadKill:[Offline IM sent 2h and 22m ago] "To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special."

Make Some Scents.

2008-12-08T00:29:00.003-06:00

Right now? Black raspberry vanilla. In candles. I love candles. Michelle's rubbed off on me.

She rubs off on me a lot. Or maybe it's genetic. You know, over break when she's running around looking for her purse or her keys or her phone - Jon is just shaking his head and Justinn looks over at me meaningfully and laughs. Because I'm always doing the same thing.

THAT is okay though. Because if I don't know where my keys are - chances are that he'll know. I will never be locked in as long as, ya know, as long as I'm with him.

At least that's something I'll never forget.

Shoe Guru. Sure.

2008-12-06T00:39:00.004-06:00

I have to admit, my repertoire of shoes pales in comparison to my mom's, my sister's, and some of my girlfriends. That does not mean that I hold any less passion for shoes. I LOVE shoes. And I don't just buy them. I invest. And no, 'investing' is not an excuse to pay lots of money for a pair of shoes. I invest in its timelessness. All of my shoes are some version of classy, be it sexy, professional, casual. I don't really go for anything ostentatious. Although I've already broken the wall between my college student budget and designer jeans - I have yet to dip my toe in 200 dollar shoes. I lie. I have literally. But I never bought them. The day will come. Where am I going with this?

I do NOT like where the shoe trend is going. It has been difficult for me to find something I'm willing to keep. Justinn was there in my boot-shopping woe where I just couldn't commit to any selection of boot offered to me. Here's just a few things I personally stay away from:

1) I LOVE a peep-toe. And I LOVE a mary-jane. Never together. Never! It's just such a bad combination riding the edge between trendy and hoes-on-the-street. It's a hard look to pull off and I've only seen 3 I really liked. The Valentino dual toned patent - I would never, ever recommend a peep-toed-mary-jane in patent - but this shoe has such slim lines and such a slim heel, it's okay.

I also saw a J Crew version with soft texture, great brown trim, and a delicate heel. Soft. Elegant. I like. J. Crew no longer has these, but I saw that PayLess has a pretty decent version of them called "Jana" By Predictions? Hm.
And at the top of this post, is a gorgeous shoe by Vince Camuto. Great shoe, gals. I tried it on at Nordstrom a couple of months ago. Would've been a great addition to my suit and pencil skirt collection. Had to bite my fingers there. Anyhow - See the trend? A delicate heel. Which leads me to my next little vent:

2) Chunky heels. WHY? It's just not cute. Even if the rest of the shoe is, when you see that profile - Not cute.

I was never a true fan of wedges or espadrilles. So why the half-assed version of it? Ew. I know it's too early for the wedge, but I DID like this Miss Sixty wedge. Something about the cork is simple enough for me.

3) Platform ANYTHING. I dunno. A little too stripper for me. And a little too Baby-Spice.

4) Any combination of the aforementioned trends = Taboo.

I wonder if I could get paid to tell people what to wear. Seriously.

Connoiseuse?

2008-12-03T13:17:00.004-06:00

Goodness that was a much needed break. And when I saw Justinn, I realized I missed him a lot more than I thought I did. It was such relief to see him again, and it delighted me to discover that I still blush when he kisses me. When he really kisses me. It was so great to be home. It really was. Running around town with Alex and Matthew, karaoke-ing with my siblings and cousins, much to the older folks' surprise. Disney karaoke ftw, mang. My favorite was Tony and Alex's rendition of Hotel California. Them boys can sing their brains out.

Regarding that day of shopping galore..You know, it breaks my heart, Black Friday. The trend of having to sacrifice someone's life for the sake of good deal. I hate reading that people are capable of such lack of any regard. What the hell was at Walmart anyway? Goodness. Not to mention the hell that rose on the Prime Outlets by Fairfield at midnight. That was just terrible. It wasn't worth buying anything. There were swarms of people waiting 2 hours to pay for their crap; Coach, again, had a 2 hour wait to just get INTO the store. Didn't you hear? Coach was so last season. ;P

The next night was better, to say the least. My boyfriend, room-mate, brother, and I went to see the very anticipated performance by Yuja Wang with the Houston Symphony. I have to admit, it wasn't as good as I expected. For a piece as elegant and dramatic as Rachmaninov's Second, I expected the notes to be milked dry - but the sound was kind of shallow, maybe it was my seat, maybe the piano. There were phrases that made me have goosebumps, of course, as she is incredibly talented. But I was somewhat disappointed. I suppose I've become too accustomed to my other recordings of the piece. Who knows? It was good though. The rest of the concert was great - I didn't think I would enjoy Sibelius' Symphony, but I did. It made me long to be in an orchestra again. I was surprised to see the variety of string technique in the piece. For me, it showcased a lot of what string instruments can do that's unique to them. Rolling short phrases that make your heart melt, glissandos, tremolos, pizz! Something about pizzicato makes me just smile.

I need to pick up piano again. I regret having quit in the middle of learning romantic pieces. I don't know why I did. I think I got discouraged. But I'm not anymore. And I'm also not going to let 12 years of rigorous instruction go to waste.

Whew. Anyway. Back at school. A week from today, Justinn will be in Austin to stay with me for 5 days. Then we're heading back together. Can't wait. =)

Ballin'

2008-11-23T13:23:00.005-06:00

So, I was in class when this random chick complimented me on my jeans. Which is cool because they're my favorite jeans. Citizens of Humanity. And then she asked if I was in a sorority.

lolwhat?

I told her no, it's not how I roll. But I left a little confused, wondering why she would associate my citizens with the Greek community.
Ah. Revelation. A lot of my sorority-sister friends own designer jeans. And running shorts.

Is it safe to say that sorority girls come from money? If I were to make my experience with sororities inclusive, then yes, they come from money. I got a tour of the Kappa Alpha Theta house in West Campus, and it's a gorgeous house. I dunno, a bunch of white girls in A-Pockets? I'd say they come from money. I could smell it in their perfume.

No judgments made, however. The girls I know in sororities are super nice and really great people. Besides, I'm kind of ballin' too. Hah.

I don't have anything to say about the Asian sororities though. Whatevar.

That's such a narrow assumption. I just like good jeans as much as my boyfriend likes his video games. Except mine's better. Because I can sit in my jeans and study at the same time. I don't care what you say. You can't both play games and study.

Anyway. Heading to Houston this Wednesday. How I've missed Houston. I realized this semester that I just don't care for Austin and its indie-hippie aura. I mean, I love Whole Foods as much as the next girl and SoCo is a pretty cool street but I need some more energetic intellect and less girls in forehead bands and mocs, RIGHT CLAIRE? Lol. It's okay, I like FreePeople, too.

But that's beside the point.

I miss my family dreadfully. And I will not have seen my man for almost a month. I definitely need this break from school to gain back those ten pounds I miss so much. Namely my tits.

Oh! Just found out that Justinn and I are going to Europe at the same time with our families. Wouldn't it just be wonderful if we can find time to be together there? I'm crossing my fingers and toes.

2008-11-21T10:42:00.001-06:00

Ugh. I am so over the skinny jean + flats.

2008-11-03T11:24:00.001-06:00

/laff.

Duts

2008-10-30T09:22:00.014-05:00

This has become the current theme song at Amandrick's Apartment. We're really freakin' awesome.

I'm stressed, I think.

Today and tomorrow. That's all I have to do. And I get to see that guy again.
Last year, I got really homesick. I wanted to be in Houston as much as possible - I missed my brothers, my mom, my dad's weekend visits. But then I hooked up with Justinn and iono. He kind of satisfies my homesickness. Perhaps I associate him with Houston and my memories there...or maybe it's because he's just my boyfriend, and I long to see him more than I long to be home. I'll admit, that can happen.

Pero anyway. I think Matthew and I have gotten a bit closer since I moved out. It just hit me how incredibly proud I am of him. He's talented, hard-working, smart, kooky, responsible, and hard-working. I went to go see him at his show the other weekend with Michelle, Jon and Justinn. He really wanted us to watch, and we wanted to be there for him. It matters, ya know? My parents had seen it already. The show was really great and of course I love the music; after hearing the Houston Symphony play it this summer, I anticipated hearing Cy Falls marching band do their arrangement. It's so good, so good. I'll put some pictures up soon or never.

Weird. My baby bro's grown up. He's 17 now, and with armpit hair.

Thou givest fever

2008-10-13T11:33:00.006-05:00

Michael Buble and I are baking right now. I came back this weekend to some forgotten, overripe bananas and decided to make banana nut muffins. Adapted from Tyler Florence, who I don't typically prefer on the Food Network.

Banana Nut Muffins
4 overripe bananas
Chopped walnuts (about 1/2 cup)
2 cups of flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/4 cup of melted butter (1 1/2 sticks)
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup of brown sugar
[I didn't have brown sugar. So I took a cup of white sugar and mixed in some dark maple syrup with a fork. It worked wonders.]

Mash 2 bananas with a fork in small bowl. Leave some texture. Set aside.
In another mixing bowl, beat the remaining bananas with the sugar and melted butter.
Beat in vanilla and eggs.
Start adding in the dry ingredients (flour, salt, baking soda) and beat until just incorporated.
Fold in the mashed bananas and nuts.
Spoon into muffin cups about 3/4 full, bake for 18-20 minutes.
When done a toothpick should come out clean.
Makes almost 2 dozen muffins.

Topping (optional - because I got creative..)
I took some more chopped walnuts and mixed it with some sugar and syrup, and topped each muffin with a bit of this nut mixture before I baked them. Some of my muffins have this sweet topping, some don't. I didn't have enough nuts.

______________________________________________

When I used to play the Sims - I know, I know - there was always this gesture that you do to your loved ones to gain relationship points. It's called 'groom' - your Sim will fix up their loved one, straighten out clothes, hair, that kind of stuff. I never understood it so I never used it. But I get it now.
There are certain things that Justinn does that I always notice, and they're always small things. One thing that stood out to me is him pushing up my bra strap when it falls off my shoulder. He tends to get there before I do. I absolutely love it. Or fixing my hair, and pushing it out of my eyes. Simple. And effective.

I was at home and in College Station this weekend. I spent a lot of time with my mom, which is great. I came home and she and I talked about me living and having to cook and meal planning, and I tell her about how dance is coming along and how excited I am about it. Then we went shopping and I came back with a drop-dead gorgeous Michael Kors trench coat. The next day she and I cleaned up the stairs and carpet a bit with this super cool carpet cleaner called "Carpet Cleaner". I wanted to clean for her because I didn't want her crawling around, but she's as persistent as I am so we just did it together. That was the last of my time in Houston with her. After cleaning, Justinn came over, and accompanied me to Modern, so I can get my hair CUT. Tony thinned me out like there was no tomorrow. I believe I lost almost 80 percent of my hair to him. Bah. But I like it. A lot. My boyfriend likes it a lot too. Pictures of that later. But for Saturday night, J and I drove back to CS and just hung out with his room-mates, Robert and Kyle. God Rock Band is fun, Cinderella Man is a great movie, and Russel Crowe never fails me.

Por que?

2008-10-08T11:24:00.005-05:00

This past weekend Justinn came to visit me. Oh mon amour. De mon coeur.
We finished my wall. We danced. We talked. We watched movies, ate at PF Chang's, fed each other ice cream, drove around, danced some more and he watched me dance. We hung out with friends, we cuddled, we...yeah. And then we slept. And I love sleeping. And I love him. And this past weekend I just got the best of both worlds.

Anticipating:
This weekend's trip to Houston with Andre.
Next weekend's trip to Houston with Josh.
Seeing mi novio otra vez.
My appointment with Luong because my hair is just too long, too long.
My Business Law test next week because Business Law is pretty fun.
All Friday night technique sessions with Denis because he waltzes like a crazy man.

Anyhoo. You know.
I always ask myself 'why not.' Because why not?

bladiddy blah blah

2008-10-03T11:26:00.007-05:00

I haven't really any outlet to get my creative juices out. No sewing machine (yet!), I haven't designed, dancing is great but I really want my shoes. Now. B-school doesn't really provide means for personal writing, ONLY PROFESSIONAL. I'm probably going to take it out on my bedroom. I've been inspired by things I've seen on campus, at the stores, and online. I've enlisted the help of my boyfriend, who I see in t-minus 4 hours, to help me finish where I left out in the decor.

I've also been thinking a lot. About my drive. And the sources of my drive. And about the way I present myself. And then my sense of style. And then the changes I've made since high-school. I know I was pretty, oh..I don't know..condescending in HS? In the beginning I saw high-school as second rate, and didn't focus much on the relationships or friendships I made in it, and hung out with the friends outside of school so much more. School was school. That's it. It started changing come junior year, when I found a more grounded boyfriend and started group projects with my close friends at school. I humbled myself a little more. Saved some money from my luxurious lifestyle of eating out all the time. I don't have any regrets. Well, just the one. Anyway. Random tangent.

My parents work really hard. For us, for themselves. I think right now they're pretty happy, enjoying life. I know my dad always finds a way to enjoy life. During hurricane Ike, he stood in the door frame smoking a cigarette, watching stuff happen. I think that's where I get my drive. To make them proud, to be successful so that they know they didn't waste their time and effort on me. I don't know if I'm doing a perfect job, but in the end I know I'll satisfy them. And myself, ultimately.

It feels like I'm working hard. I've never studied so hard before - and don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm incredibly studious. Just hard-working. I don't really...study for hours at a time for tests. But I always get my work done. Always. Which I did this week so I can see him again. And I do all the time so I can go home and see my family. Maybe I'll see more of Quanny now that Jen's outta town. ;P Quit hogging my big brother!

ramble.

Sew owned.

2008-09-06T17:38:00.002-05:00

Minka Kelly way prettier, hands down. Sorry man.

Whatever free time I thought I would have, even with the load of class imposed on my poor self..no longer exists.

It kind of blows because I was hoping to take my creativity out on my mom's pre-1990's sewing machine this year, which really does demand personal time and effort. Effort, check. Time? Not grasped..Right before I came, Pia and I went fabric shopping to make some of my designs and ideas more tangible. I've only had time to cut out a few of the patterns, but all the while I have LEB chapters throbbing in the back of my head. And then ballroom started and I got so caught up in that, and the free time left over is spent resting, cooking, and thinking about doing some more homework so that maybe, just maybe! This weekend will provide some more time to sit down do my thang.
It also doesn't help that I have limited surface area in my room for all that I want to do, and my fabric is crumpled up (*winces) on the shelf next to my Corona cowboy hat.

Bah.

One, Two, Buckle My Shoe..

2008-08-27T07:43:00.009-05:00

Waiting for my first class. BA324. And that's it until 3:30, when I have Business Law and French back to back. French?? That was on a whim! I think it'll be fun, until I have to drop it because I'm packed with 17 hours, plus forever while I take BA and ACC. Meh.

Been in humble Austin for a very long few couple of days now with nothing really to do except make sure our apartment is stocked for survival and running around town doing errands. Momma trained me well. And I absolutely love living here, with my two roomies on the other side of the wall I'm facing. My room is pretty much coming together and looking very in-cohesively me. Although it is kind of lonely, so I find myself drifting over to Andrick's room every now and then to drool over Andre's Rolling Stone poster of Zac Efron magic. Hehe we spent the last couple of days watching HS 1 and 2. Andre and I share a passion for musicals. At least, musicals with hot boys.

Ready for Cafe Annie..

Of course I miss my boyfriend, but I think I'm fully capable of control. We've been together almost..8 glorious months now. Maybe it's my mental/emotional/physical preparation, or my experience from all of last spring semester..but I haven't experienced any of the pre-conceived bummer about not being with him every other day, especially after having been able to this past summer. I don't think I'll go so far as to say we're attached. That word provides such a negative connotation..as if it's dangerous. But we absolutely love being with each other, at least I do, and even though we're 107 miles apart, I think I'm okay about it all because I know I'm his and he's mine. Besides, I like the set up anyway, seeing him after a few weeks at a time. It's definitely good for both of us and I always have something amazing to anticipate. I love to anticipate!

T minus 42 hours

2008-08-21T14:42:00.005-05:00

Summer is screeching to a very abrupt halt. But that's okay. I've done a lot these last couple of weeks aside from lounging in my awesome too-large bed which gets awfully lonely..
And watching re-runs of Jon&Kateplus8.
I saw Pineapple Express with the Gregmeister who left me on Wednesday to take off to some art school in the middle of freaking nowhere. Good movie too. Didn't think I'd like it, but I got some good laughs. James Fuh-ranco was a lot better than anticipated. Hard to imagine him as a "recreational" (dumbass..) stoner after seeing him whiz around in Piduh-man 3. 3? 2? Jiono mang. Honestly, I didn't see much of Greg this summer..at least not as much as I'd like. I have no idea if it's my fault or the world's fault. He lives RIGHT THERE! Bah. We had our good times.
I also saw Tropic Thunder with my soon-to-be roomies. Not bad, I'd say. I had absolutely no idea that it was Tom Cruise. That made me like it better afterwards. Yeah, good fun. However Andre, I'm not sure if Tropic Thunder deserves Hot Tamale ratings. Purely based on opinion anyway.
Yesterday Eunice came over to perm my hair. It turned out pretty subtle and I really like it. I hope it lasts long enough. When it gets cold again, I'm thinking of getting another really short do, but I'm a bit attached to the long hair..I'll leave it up to Luong, my stylist at Modern, who anticipates my arrival. I only get about 2 haircuts a year. I don't like paying fifty bucks.

My favorite life occurances..occur..when someone re-enters your life. Last night I went running with a Michael Muery. A solid 3 miles whilst talking - running and talking is not an easy thing to do. But I was surprised to see that I kept up with him, or at least I didn't stop and my pace was pretty impressive. Or Muery was just slowing down for my sake. Who knows?? Anyhow, my history with him is pretty sparse. I think we liked eachother in 8th grade for the better part of 2 weeks. Then I stepped back so as not to become involved in this triangular love situation that happened shortly afterwards. Despues, we just..chatted every now and then during lunches. I guess knowing him in context of the people I saw him hang out with convinced me he as kind of immature, but I always knew him to be a nice guy. Anyhow, we stopped talking about 2 years ago. Until now! Of course of course, I found him on facebook and posted a wall message I quickly regretted, and so we were led to a series of 2 FB chats that I really enjoyed. It was kind of interesting to know Michael on a more..deeper level? So last night like I said, we spent almost 3 hours talking and running and walking..and I've found that there are a lot of things I like about him and his character that I never got to know. There were also a lot of things about Michael that I didn't even anticipate, such as his passion for video games, conversation, and people, and his impatience with life. Unfortunately someone in a different universe massed a battalion of mosquitoes on us, so we had to leave at about midnight. I really hope that even after school begins, we can be friends for real this time, because he certainly seems to be someone I can appreciate having in my life. Once he realizes that I'm not as intimidating as he thinks I appear. Because I'm not. I don't know why people keep thinking that.

And! Running on concrete is really bad for your knees.

Latin Roots

2008-08-02T00:24:00.006-05:00

Monday morning I woke up to him whispering my name into my ear. I woke up to his kisses on my shoulder before he climbs into bed with me. I woke up to him, even though I didn't fall asleep next to him.

In public he positions his body towards me, and I can't help but do the same thing. In public some part of us is always touching. His fingers stroking my forearm. Our ankles entwined. And when I have to leave his side, the touch lingers until I'm out of his reach. In public, there is little effort needed.

In the kitchen he embraces me every five minutes. We'll even dance cheek to cheek. In the kitchen, and everywhere else, he sighs my name. Sometimes different variations of it.

The point is.. He says my name. And I can't stop saying his.

2008-07-25T02:00:00.004-05:00

Alright. I have to stop. That last post, I kept changing over a course of a couple of days. Certainly not editing or censoring! Goodness no! But putting in additions. To clarify my words, to touch on some missed or overlooked aspect of my words. Jiono mang.

I guess.. in summation of the barf bag of words down yonder - I love who I am. I'm confident in who I am, of all of my relationships, and what I stand for. Definitely what I stand for. I'm confident in the decisions I make, the words I choose, the gifts I give, the gifts I receive. It's why I've always been everyone's go-to gal. Because I'm so sure about everything.

I grew up fast. A lot of people say college is the time to find yourself. Maybe. I think I already did. Maybe it's the time for me to reinforce myself. Or maybe it's the time for me not to be all contemplative "about life". Perhaps college is just a time for me to work. Like Justinn. He's just as confident in himself and who he is. It's refreshing being with him. We're able to bounce that confidence off of each other. Healthy. A huge change from Hoan, who is a very insecure person. He fed off my confidence. Not that I minded - maybe I had too much of it. I should have minded. Then I would have ended it on my own terms instead of waiting for him to be ready to end it.
With Jman.. I don't have to work for anyone anymore. I don't even have to work for myself anymore. I just have to help.

"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.
As you grow older, you'll discover that you have two hands.
One for helping yourself, and the other for helping others."

Well... Sleep first.

Who's Pete Anyway?

2008-07-23T12:55:00.008-05:00

My dad said something to me the other day that I don't think I could ever forget. We were talking about me dating.

He told me that I am the best version of myself that I could possibly be without anyone else's influence, and that I've learned to approach my life with meaning instead of being for the sake of being. But he said there's always room for me to expand who I am by surrounding myself with people who are capable of broadening my horizons.

That's sensible, I think. I couldn't help but notice he might be referring to my boyfriend - not dubiously, but in a way to encourage me to gauge whether or not he can be that person. I did. For quite a while. I doubted the extent of which Justinn could teach me that I didn't learn from him in our friendship before courtship. Could Justinn "broaden my horizons"? I deliberated. I even talked to him about it and shared my doubts. He owned up to it. But he said...he might be able to later. And I appreciated that honesty.

My resolution was that.. Maybe Justinn isn't what my dad is talking about - but he's still what I need and more so want - a solid companion. It just feels right. Maybe more than right. Like..3 left turns. Seems inconvenient and no one has time to make it..but definitely worthwhile. Anyway, since that conversation I've been more cognizant of who I do surround myself with. For the most part I'm doing an awesome job. But who's to judge? I think that I've done well in finding people who genuinely care about me, and people that I care for just as much, if not more. Also people who I find interesting because they share the same passion I do, but for different things. Maybe that's what my dad was talking about. I think I have a well-rounded lifestyle and I hold a lot of passions and interests. But there's a lot I have yet to see. I can't wait.

There was something else too. "The sake of being." I'm a very passionate person and it hard for me sometimes to learn to "let go" of things. It doesn't, however, undermine my ability to forgive. I'm just not tolerant. I don't settle for and overlook misdeeds. I do something about it - or accept it if there's nothing for me to do about it. But even that's hard to do. It doesn't mean that I'm uptight. People tend to tell me to ignore certain things and to again, "let it go." To forgive, for the sake of forgiving. I've made it a point for myself not to do anything for the sake of doing it, whether it's forgiving, going to church, being nice to someone who doesn't deserve my niceties, or even sex. I do it for its worth because well... I have worth as well.

I've mentioned before that dating, at this point, should be recreational because I have my other obligations. My parents object to me dating seriously. My mom thinks I should "keep my options open". And my dad's concerned with myself revolving my life around someone else. I think I'll be okay. There's something I've always been good at and that's being capable of harmonizing my life. I can date and put myself in committed relationships without compromising who I am and the things in my life that I feel matter. I know the things that are worth not losing, so I never hedge my bets on them. Again..worth.

I think my dad is right. I do feel like I'm the best version of myself that I can be. My virtues are valuable, and my vices are forgivable. I'm definitely not claiming to be a Justified Sinner (great book, btw).. But I know that I've at least become the person that I want to be, and in some cases the person that I should be. I know that I embody the amount of goodness that would make my loved ones proud. Especially Jim. He's my WWJD. After him, I lost more than half of who I was. I worked to regain it back, ya know? I had to find worth in myself, not just the person I care about..and live. I'm happy where I am. I think I did a good job.

There are two things that I tell myself constantly, and others who I think should hear it. It's become a sort of..mantra of mine. My post-its for life, one might say:
1) Try not to piss yourself off. Maybe others. But not yourself.
2) Life is what you make of it.
There's a motif in this little muse of mine. Worth. Because why else do we live? Number 2 is incredibly important to me in that it reminds me to approach everything with a certain mentality that anticipates what I can harvest from it - to make myself a better person, to find enrichment, to find happiness, to find balance..

There's a picture of me and Pops that I really like. I'll scan that in later. It's pretty adorable, if I may say so myself.

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned / Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned

2008-07-17T17:25:00.011-05:00

Justinn's been in California the past eight days. With him gone, and the end of summer school.. I've had so much free time on my hands. So I've been reading a lot.. sleeping a lot. Seeing some friends every now and then; Cyn, Greg, Alan, Andre, Eunice. I haven't seen Eunice but once all summer. I think our friendship is very interesting. We don't see each other often, or go out of our way to do so. She's got her own thing going on, which from what I hear is wonderful, and I've got mine. Granted, I don't do a lot because I don't have much to do around here. I'm semi jobless, and temporarily boyfriendless. Two more days! Anyhow.. Eun-sun and I got together last week to get crafty! She dropped about 60 bucks at Michael's to make some cards for her friends, and I just went along with it. But it felt good to have a real girl heart to heart after all that's went on this summer, and after hanging out with so many boys.

Here's something worth posting about. Maybe not publicly, but then again this blog is mostly for myself as a record of my college life. It'll be interesting to go back and see how I spent the school year...Especially with my new and outrageous room-mates.

But anyhow.. Hoan dared come by my house to apologize. And I say dare because.. well, not a lot of people around me are big fans of him, with good reason. He apologized for - what was it - being inconsiderate for my feelings and for thinking that I was just being crazy for thinking him a bad boyfriend. I guess I can appreciate the effort.. but only so much. I appreciate his revelation, because I didn't want him living life thinking that I didn't have reason to break up with him. I wanted him to know that I deserved more twice the person he is. I guess what I don't appreciate is the sorry ass apology he tried giving, because it just wasn't genuine. How do you profoundly apologize, but tag on at the end that whether or not you're forgiven or accepted, it doesn't matter? How is that a meaningful apology? Why even apologize if you don't even want forgiveness? Honestly, it was more about making himself feel better than it is about actually seeking forgiveness, and that makes the one repenting even more unworthy than they already are. It also didn't make me feel much better with Hoan blaming his shortcomings on his ignorance. What? That's pretty faulty logic. I understand that no one will come through for you if you don't let them know you need them. But how can you blame ignorance when in fact it's stubbornness? I tried damn hard to let him know what I wanted or needed from him - and don't get me wrong because it isn't much. But it's kind of hard to get through to someone who is just so stubborn and unwilling to listen. I suppose he's learned that now. And I can again, appreciate that as much as I can. The fact of the matter is.. it's just all too late. What care do I have in knowing that he's learned NOW? What does it mean to me? We're not together anymore.
And now that I know that he's learning, just pisses me off even more because I'm not being rewarded from it. It seems completely unfair that other chicks after me will be treated with so much more respect than I was by him. Maybe it's just my selfish side, but I know for a fact that I damn well deserve it after I've given and given and given so much. I'm not saying I want the fool back, or that I don't want him dating around. He's only left-overs after all.
I made attempts to end it earlier but was met with the fact that he wasn't ready to let me go. So, I decided to wait until he was ready. And when he was, it was easy for me. I knew it was what he needed. And what I needed. But NOW.. months later. I feel jilted like I've wasted so much on someone so undeserving. Why? Because I remembered how much I tried, and how much he didn't.

I'm just truly glad that I've found someone who makes me feel what I really haven't felt since Jim. It's bliss. It's also enough to induce Eunice and even her mother to tease me about matrimony. Especially after mentioning about how conventional Justinn is and how he wants to settle down as soon as he possibly can.
I'm not expecting a certain time table on our relationship, goodness no. But I do know that we'll be together for a wonderfully long time, but I don't know exactly how long 'long' is. 2 years? 4? At this point, four years is past graduation and I remember our conversation blurb one evening.
"Justinn, what happens if we last through college?"
"Well, then it looks like I'm marrying you."
I guess it makes sense. He and I aren't ones to waste time, but don't we have pretty much.. all the time in the world?

I was watching Tyra Banks today, and she showcased controversies that exist in the outlooks of motherhood. Especially the choice of working or staying at home, age, breastfeeding? I'm a huge advocate of breast feeding but.. not past the age of 2, the LATEST. Anyhow, I absolutely can't wait to be a mother. And I know I'll be a working mother. My maternal instincts have kicked in and sometimes I'll say outloud.. gosh I can't wait to bear my own flesh and blood. I can't wait to.. give and protect the little object of life that I can love and share unconditionally with the man of my life. That's what I'm looking forward to most. Maybe I've been watching too much Jon & Kate. Honestly.. right now my anticipation in being a mother really just stems from how excited I am to... get married. To love someone, and to give that someone a gift in the form of a love-child. Haha. Isn't that the ultimate task of a wife? To become a mother? I'm a lot more conventional than I thought I was...
I just realized something. I've felt this way before with Jimmy. Even at age 14 or 15, I couldn't wait to be a wife to him. And we definitely weren't a traditional couple. Now I'm feeling it again with Justinn. I guess I'll admit, I would marry him and have him be my baby daddy. I'm not saying that I'm clingy, but I'm definitely attached to Justinn in that I see something in him and I know he can take care of me. I want to take care of him. Huh. It's all good though - maybe that's just how I date. But he and I do have a sort of.. inexplicit policy of being each other's last priority. As much as I love Justinn, and he loves me, we've got other things on our mind for the long term.

Marriage and babies later. WAY LATER.

2008-07-08T21:50:00.006-05:00

So I was in Dallas this past weekend. It was fun. I came home with four times as much clothing as I left with. And some new kicks. I have writer's block.

That song 'I Kissed a Girl' by Katy Perry has a really nice beat. I'm totally diggin' it. Except it always rubbed me the wrong way because I imagined some ugly dyke singing it, or some wannabe emo chick trying to go for the pop-shock factor with her experimental antics. But it has a good beat. Anyway, my older brother showed me the music video for the first time, and as shallow as it sounds, I'm diggin' the song even more. Miss Perry is quite easy on the eyes.

Yeah. I would.

Ladies, Gentlemen, and Undecided...I give you my ass!

2008-07-02T18:14:00.004-05:00

I'm starting to give the fitness world a chance again. It happened the other day when Matthew asked why my butt looked so flat. It's not. It was my jeans. They get a bit lose after a couple of wears and I don't wash my jeans after just one wearing. But that made me a little bummed. No matter how many times I wear my jeans, it should NEVER be a problem. So I've started running again, twice a week. A couple of miles. And then the ever-amazing one-legged squats. To gain back the bodacious ass I had when I was still a "long distance runner". I remember my sister complaining about how overly large it was for my body. At the time it was kind of a concern. Now? I want some of it back.

Speaking of sexy back, I lost a pair of shoes sometime ago but I don't know when. I'm thinking it may have been prom? I don't remember Prom, let alone what shoes I wore. It kind of sucks. I hate losing things like shoes. I love shoes. Hope I find em.

This past weekend I saw the Houston Symphony perform for free! It was fabulous. Only Matt and I would sit for two hours listening to a live symphony play the first two parts of Respighi's Trilogy: Fontane di Roma, and Pini di Roma. I hadn't planned on going, but we had to appease my mother because she wasn't very comfortable about Matt driving down to the Museum District. It was all worth it though. Pini di Roma was absolutely awesome, especially with the off-set trumpets and trombones. It completely added a unique effect to enhance the performance. Great end to a great concert.

This summer my brothers and I have become attached to the reality show called Jon&Kate plus 8. It's about a family of two sets of multiples: twins and sextuplets. Holy crap man. And all under age 10. How would you like having six 4 year olds running wild everyday in your house? After watching the show, I know I would. Those kids are incredibly cute and quite personable. We don't get sick of watching them tear it up! I got Justinn to watch a couple of episodes with me. He likes it too because the kids make you laugh. I asked him if he would have that many kids and he only told me, "Amanda if we had multiples I would be so angry with you." Guess not. Hahahha. =)

Makin' Love in the Club

2008-06-24T23:34:00.011-05:00

I hit the crub with my boyfriend and friends. It was pretty okay. Not sure it was worth the fifteen dollar cover but.. It did feel good to get out and get somewhat dressed up. And come back at four in the morning to a very pleasant mom. That wasn't sarcasm. Met a cool guy I call bad-ass Bobby.

Also.. Went to try out Gugliani's with Vi and J. The Italian joint my bf works at. It's pretty good man. Quite tasty. And the service is really good. I would know, right? ;P I brought my camera and had some fun with it.

I'm a little convinced that Justinn's parents and my parents are encouraging us to start.. how do I say this.. practicing making babies? Haha, silly, I know. But it's strikingly odd how comfortable Justinn's mom is with casual, joking talk about the dirty. Even with me! She'll ask to speak to me on the phone sometimes, which I kind of adore because I adore Mrs. General, and occasionally she'll bring up the *whispers.. sex.
"Hello Amanda! How are you, sweetheart?"
"Oh I'm fine, Mrs. General! How are you?"
"I'm great! How's my baby? I haven't seen him much."
"I know! I'm sorry I'm hogging him. He's either working or with me!"
"Just take care of him for me, okay? What are you two doing?"
"We're just watching a movie right now."
"Okay, okay. Just remember! No hanky-panky, you two."

Justinn and his mom on the phone:
"Hello sweetheart. When are you coming home tomorrow?"
"Probably around 3:30."
"But I thought school ends at 2:30."
"I plan on working out when the gym opens."
"Are you sure you're not working out a certain part of your body?"

What? /laff. I'll also never forget the time when J and I were in bed, CLOTHED! with the lights off, kissing. The door was open but his mom had to poke her head in and say, with teasing inflections, "What are you doooiiiinnnngggg?"

And you know, it's not just the General couple. My parents, by not saying anything, are pretty indifferent about the physical intimacy between me and my man. My mom walked in on me and Justinn a little too close for comfort on the living room couch late last night. I mean, he was sitting between my legs and we were more than lounging. Nothing obscene of course. Should this situation happen earlier with the other boyfriends I've had, my mom would typically be smart about it. "Mandy, is your back so broken that you have to sit like that?" Or at least give me a look and ask me to see her in the kitchen or her bathroom. Omigoodness, when I barely sat with Hoan one night, she actually called me in her bathroom and said, "Listen. It's late. And I don't want you sitting like that. Tell him he's not welcome in this house." Summer after senior year. It kind of scared me hearing that from her. It's hardly been a year since! And my mom smiles at Justinn. Maybe she's just not voicing it... but if that's the case I'd have heard something by now.

Perhaps maybe our parents are just accepting with the fact that we're in college, and even if they try to dictate our activities this summer, it's futile because we have school away from home and Justinn visits me on weekends. He's probably likely (hah!) to be sleeping in my room, in my bed, behind closed doors, etc etc. But I feel a little judged that we should be expected to do something like that. J and I aren't like other couples. We aren't ruled by our wonderfully difficult to control hormones, or obligated to have sex. I mean... other couples probably start screwing around about a couple of weeks into it..and then bang each other by at least a month. That's being realistic. Also, I hate the reasoning that goes into it sometimes. The.."well I won't be able to get some for a while, so I wanna do it." Sex for the sake of it. Even when people mask over it with feelings and such.. it's pathetic. And the most selfish act a boyfriend or girlfriend can make.

For the record.. Justinn and I aren't that couple.

Life is blissful when you love someone your family more than approves of. I mean.. not only is it easier, it also adds meaning to the relationships you have in your family. And with the one you're dating. It's amusing. It's gotten to the point where, when distant family members or friends ask me, "What happened to the other guy?" I usually answer, "He wasn't Justinn."

I think my family just reaaallllyyy likes this guy, and they are pretty hard to impress.
My dad hugged him. And my grandparents think he's handsome.
...So do I!

2008-06-18T23:13:00.003-05:00

Ah. My darlings. My loyal readers. Every one of you six readers that I know of. Are you in the mood? Because I am.

The Gotan Project
Michael Buble
Bond
Bitter:sweet

2008-06-11T17:22:00.007-05:00

Say 'Hi' to my new purse. Yes, I splurged. I was only going to exchange out evenly with another purse I had gotten, but I fell in love with this, and another. Ask Justinn, I was quite conflicted. So I walked around Coach wearing the two purses I wanted until I got over one. Unfortunately, the one I tired of was the cheaper one, though still very cute and of course, classy. On the other hand, it was quite reminiscent of my mom's gorgeous bag. Just a younger look. Anyway, here's the winner, and the one that burned a hole in my unemployed summer budget.
Like my man says, if you're going to do something wrong...do it right.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - * - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Inspired by newly hitched Talida, and my awesome cupcake book courtesy of Tony-san, behold my first baking blog!

Justinn's favorite cookie is White Chocolate Macadamia Nut. Don't tell him, but I don't care for it too much. It's too sweet - even for me. A good cookie nonetheless.

So, flipping through my adorable little book, I was compelled to do a cupcake rendition of this classic cookie. Enjoy!

White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cupcakes
for the cupcakes:
1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened!
1 cup sugar
2 cups flour
1 tsp. baking powder (This doesn't taste good by itself. Jman will second that.)
4 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla extract (This doesn't either!)
1/2 cup white chocolate chips

for the frosting:
1 cup white chocolate chips
5 tbsp milk (I used 3 tbsp. of heavy cream - gives a different consistency)
1 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar, sifted
chopped and toasted macadamia nuts

Preheat oven to 350F. Place 18 paper baking cups in muffin pans. Combine all cupcake ingredients, minus chocolate chips, in a large bowl and beat with an electric mixer until smooth and pale, about 2-3 minutes.
[Beat butter and sugar until creamy, add eggs one at a time, then slowly beat in the flour and baking powder and vanilla extract.] Beat it! When I was younger, I thought I could just stir up a cake mix and have that fluffy goodness in the end. It doesn't work. You have to whip in the air. This happened backwards too. I used an electric beater on my cookies once, but I had beat it too long and ended up with really puffy cookies. They were good. But not cookies. More like...mini cakes.
Fold in the chocolate chips. Spoon batter into the cups to about 2/3 full, and bake for 20 minutes.
Warning: The batter is a lot thicker than I had anticipated for a cupcake. It was more like a cookie batter. I was nervous but, all was well in the end! You don't have to add in the chocolate chips if you have a sensitive sweet tooth. All the goodness is in the frosting - but even THAT is incredibly sweet. Cupcakes.
Remove when done and cool.

Frosting!
Melt the chocolate and milk in a double boiler, stirring frequently.
(For those who don't know, just get a pot of boiling water, and put a bowl (metal or glass) on top of it so that the steam from the water heats up the bottom of the bowl. This melts everything without burning it. Be forewarned though : When the bowl shifts and that steam hits your fingers, it actually burns a little. Yeah...)
Remove the melted chocolate from the heat and beat/stir in confectioner's sugar until smooth. Spread over cupcakes and press in the nuts.
As for decorating, this is where cupcakes are really fun. And currently quite trendy. There's a lot of freedom in decorating these, and if you mess up, you can always redeem yourself. J and I added more white chocolate chips. =)
Also: The cupcake mix, minus the white chocolate chips, is a classic vanilla cupcake recipe. Like I did, you can use it as a foundation for your own creations.

2008-06-06T01:10:00.003-05:00

I use Herbal Essences Body Envy shampoo and conditioner. On the back of my bottles I learned what the longest kiss recorded is. There's no point sharing that here. Justinn and I already beat it.

2008-06-04T18:01:00.008-05:00

1 month of summer down. It's been kind of a long one too. Not doing much these days, house chores, errands, some amigos. Justinn. I'm done with the first week of summer school taking both the governments. I've opted not to buy the book, but starting to kiiinnnndddd of regret it. Eh, we'll see. I tried digging up old notes from good ol HS but to no avail. I threw that out to where it belongs. Highschool Trash. We'll see how that goes.

What's happened.. Well, I guess we can do a quick crash course of my last month..
Karaoke was an entertaining night. We had gone down to K-town (K for Korea!) because apparently those are the only good karaoke bars in town, and sang our bellies out. Elisha really likes to sing. In Korean, that is. We waited patiently for Andre to sing Enrique's Hero, whilst dry-humping my boyfriend in the middle of the table, for ALL TO SEE. I think Kenny enjoyed that the most, didn't you, Kenny K?
A while back me and some people went to Robert C's house to clean? and swim in his pool. During which my wonderful love came up with the genius idea of putting each other in these boxes and tussling it in the pool. It was pretty freaking sweet. It also leaked water, so just before you drown you were to break out of it a la Hulk. J-man wouldn't have let anything happened to me. There are some cool pictures of this but freaking Elisha hasn't uploaded them. I'm also awaiting J and I's first public couple picture. Cheesy, I know. But it's a cute picture. We're a pretty smokin' couple. And gon' make some smokin' hot kids, naw say mang?

I've also seen Iron Man with boyfriend and brother, which was just a spot-on amazing movie. Tastefully done, I'd say. I've really just been with the brothers and boyfriend a lot. My mom's been in Vietnam for almost two weeks, so I barely got a month with her when I came home. Oh, I am currently unemployed, but not searching. So I'm not in the labor force at all. Summer school got in the way.. kind of. I just didn't have a motivation to find work. I saved up a lot last summer. I spent my first year in university quite frugally, no less fabulously. Because that's what I am: frugal and fabulous. Shabby and chic. =) I've got a good eye and a lot of class. What can I say?

Have I mentioned how much I love Justinn's family? His little brother makes it a point to say 'Hi' to me. It's real cool. I think what's interesting is that it's the complete opposite of my family, but we're just as close. I mean, my parents are just over the hill (but they LOOK GREAT - yay for good genes!) and Justinn's family is still very young. He's the oldest, and their youngest is just starting middle school. They're still involved in the community, go to church more than regularly, Mrs. General still puts 'Lunch' post-its on the previous night's leftovers so the boys remember to eat lunch this summer. She also still really takes care of Justinn when he's home. Just yesterday, he was having stomach problems and she was comfortable enough to ask to see his.. toilet goods.. to ensure good healthy poop. Because good, healthy poop equals good, healthy son. And! I didn't find it awkward being there. Even when his dad trots around the house in his boxers. She never got a look, btw.
I love watching Mrs. General dote on all her boys. All of them. I love watching Mr. General interact with Justinn as if he's an adult - though I clearly know otherwise sometimes. ;PAnyway.. it's refreshing to be with his family.

My family is down to earth too. But we're growing out of that American family vibe that hits when the kids are still young: A regime that ties everyone down to the household, physically. Matthew's already driving, but he's always been like an old, spiteful man. Michelle's married. Alex is all old too and spends half the week at his girlfriend's, at work, at school. I've moved out. All of us are independent. We hardly go to church - just the trademark holidays like Christmas, Easter.. is there more? Palm Sunday. We've all grown up. Now, there's so much more focus on time, rather than shaping and developing and just surviving. We try coordinating our times off and the weekends me and my sister come home so that we can spend time together as a family for holidays and birthday dinners. It's all leisure now - shopping together, taking luxurious vacations, having moments together where we can mutually appreciate life. Because we're old enough. All the kids are at the age where we know what it means to work, and make our own money. Except for Matt. We'll give him a year. But he's still the family baby so Mom still deems it necessary to treat him like one. Anyway, I've also learned how valuable time is. One of my favorite memories is saving the siblings Christmas gifts for last, and we all go home and just open gifts amongst ourselves and our significant others. I really enjoyed it.
This last semester when I would come home for the weekend, Justinn made it a point to come home too. To see me. But I always felt guilty if I left my brothers home at night to see my boyfriend. But I didn't want him to have driven back to Houston for me to not see him. Because that's why he comes home. Because I do. I guess I feel guilty because another bond comes from being old enough - something closer to your siblings. I'm old enough for us to all talk together and confide in each other. We're starting to be on the same page. They're starting to be more open about how I live my life. I wish they were so a year ago. Maybe I wouldn't have wasted so much time with my ex. Ew.

It's weird. He was a big part of my life, or so I was convinced. It shocked me how much my family really didn't support my relationship with him. I realize that I did put myself, and ultimately my family, at an inconvenience to make the bastard happy. He took me for granted, while I kind of took mi familia for granted as well. Rushing my family home from Matt's birthday dinner to drive my boyfriend downtown for sushi in the middle of the night.. leaving my sister's rehearsal dinner early to take the same boy to see a single showing movie and then paying for it.. I gave a lot. Shit! He even let me pay for dinner the night he knew he was going to end it. And all without any hint of gratitude from that recipient. For me to treat my family in such a way, it's unforgivable. Especially for someone who didn't deserve the crumbs off my plate. I guess what's good is that the guy knows he wasn't good enough for me, and never was. Meh. My family, and my friends who cared most about me, just put up with my relationship. To them, he was "just there". Seems about right. I asked them what it was that I would do that would induce them to take umbrage with me, and uncoincidentally, the answers were the same: If I ever got back with said lousy ex-boyfriend. Justinn said he would never be friends with me again, Greg said he would be dreadfully ashamed, my family would be utterly disappointed.. It's weird. I expected dropping out of school, or getting pregnant, getting on drugs or weed, drinking.. all that would take priority in my unwritten not-to-do-list. But.. getting back together with H--- topped it. If THAT would piss off my loved ones the most.. geez, what the hell was I thinking a year and a half ago?

For the time being, I'll just focus on the second thing on my not-to-do-list: Justinn and I are practicing not getting pregnant.

2008-05-11T09:58:00.010-05:00

Ah. I have awoken into the first morning of my summer vacation with only one thing to say...

Happy Mother's Day, all. Now go tell yo mama how much you love her. I definitely am.

How were finals? I'd rather not answer for the reasons being that 1) they're over and 2) how easy is it to talk about school? Too easy. But hopefully I received the grades I worked for, which I'm confident I did. Definitely could've done better, but can't everyone say that?

I'm going to miss my spring semester regime. Gonna miss freaking out my room-mate with my unorthodox habits and thoughts and she and I rolling around laughing about it. Gonna miss the Castilian Cafe Crew that I sit with a lot. Btw, JT's band is f*cking AMAZING. I have never heard anything so eccentric in my life. And that boy seriously tore up Sweet Child O' mine, Freebird, and their original songs. The solos were impeccable. I'm going to miss Plucker's and our new tradition of washing it down with Ken's donuts that have Krispy Kreme texture but still tastes like Shipley's.
I'm actually going to miss missing Justinn, and the stupid 3-week longing for him. But you know...

What excites me is knowing that instead of being almost 2 hours away with no means of transporting myself into his wonderfully protective arms, I can either run 30 minutes to Justinn's house or drive a couple of minutes to give him a big kiss. Just because. Just because I can't believe how impacting these last 4 months have been:

His surprise visit on Valentine's day when it fell on a Thursday...his calling me every night because he actually likes talking about everything and nothing...his coming to Austin, downgrading the beginning of his summer to watch me study and wait for me to finish so he can hold my hand in the car for 2 hours, with or without the condensation between our palms. Ewww!
His bold gestures still don't outweigh the little ones he likes giving. Like the annoying kisses while I'm sleeping. There's plenty more, but I'm going to keep those to myself and not share. =)

He's also determined, hard working, smart, quirky, genuine, good, strong, confident, and sexy as hell. Basically...Amanda with a penis. ;P I love that he goes to church, because he knows he should, but I also love that when Mass lasts over an hour he gets really angry and exclaims, "God promised me ONE hour!" He's everything I am, and everything I could be.

I can't believe all that goodness is for me. Honestly? I'm not sure I deserve it yet, but he makes me feel like I do.

/Bluuusshhhh.

2008-05-03T09:39:00.002-05:00

I've never hated anyone in my life until now***. Maybe a strong dislike - but it's usually childish. However, this newfound hate has meaning because the object of it I once loved very, very much. Crazy, how that happens huh? Shame.
***Whatever he or Suzzy Ahn tell you, it's not true because I never hated Justinn - I just really disliked him. Which is silly because how could I have ever disliked someone who brings out the best in me?

Well, I lied. I did hate someone before. I hated my own father when he began distancing himself from our family in ways I can't post here. It was the kind of hate that only a girl in early adolescence could feel - naive, but passionate. I had loved him unconditionally, and then began resenting, and hating...But when my dad came back to make amends, I gradually developed a new kind of love. It was more of an attempt to be understanding because he deserved at least that much from me - I love my dad because I knew he still and always deserved it. And because he came back. And for always loving me.
I also realized by hating my dad, I began loving my mom even more. Being daddy's little girl, I didn't give her much thought. I knew I loved her unconditionally as well and that she was a dang good cook, but in that process of resentment, I also grew a new love for her, and a more significant appreciation for who she is and all that she does to make our lives the way they are. From that point on, I stopped taking anyone for granted.

So what is hate? It's not just a passion, it's a transition. You can't hate someone if you haven't loved them before; otherwise you have no legitimate and meaningful reason to hate. That's why I think familial resentments are the worst because they stem from a once unconditional love for each other. It's a struggle to go back, but definitely not impossible - as I've experienced. I think it'll be harder to go back to loving when the former love wasn't as unconditional as the love for your parents. It's even harder when you don't even know why you loved that person in the first place. They didn't give you a reason to; in fact, they didn't even deserve your love.

Then why do we love? To know the meaning of hate, so that you can better understand what it means to love? No...there's a third factor in this love/hate cycle. We love and hate to know what it means to forgive. I guess Milton was right. The two need to co exist. Or maybe Hawthorne hit it right on the nail in saying that essentially, the two are one and the same.

On a more casual note, my plans today are quite mundane. I'm compressing all my studying to the next four days, despite that I have seven, in preparation for the boyfriendly visit this coming Wednesday. It's a curse and a blessing. At least I have a whole summer of Justinn goodness to look forward to, and I can sneakily spend money on him. But tonight I'm going to go see JT's band at the Hellraiser party, but we won't be staying long because house parties are just so not down my alley. I am in much anticipation to hear Sweet Child O' Mine.

Good gosh I am effing tired. Mister Man from college station had me up until almost 2 working out a physics problem that we debated over. Lo and behold I was 100% correct in my logic and I'm a business major! Maybe I should switch. ;P Nah he wouldn't like that. Apparently it would only escalate his competitive nature and heaven knows how good that is for a relationship. We may turn diabolical, and I kind of don't need that right now.

2008-04-28T14:23:00.000-05:00

I had a very wonderful weekend. Friday me and the suite-mate went home to Houston at noon, got in by 3 with much of the day left to spare. What sucked is that I didn't have my house keys because I stupidly left them on my door...in the key-hole. I dunno how my roommate puts up with me. I'm a freaking liability sometimes. But she's done it before. Luckily my other suitemate got a hold of it and locked my door and put it on my desk. And who said the French are resentful?

Anyhow, I spent the rest of the Friday with Justinn. It's amazing how much time you can spend with someone and just NOT get tired of them. But the distance does enhance our time together. Stupid A&M. I knew no good could come from it. But! He, my older bro, and I went with some more old people to go watch Harold and Kumar, and despite the EXTRA VULGARITY* they shoved in these 2 more hours, it was actually better than the first. Harold's lady love quite excites me, to say the least.
*Bottomless party anyone? I think not.

Saturday...Again I spent with Justinn and his family, as my family was busy working, gardening at the 2nd house, or in Dallas*. We did some volunteering at the church festival serving refreshments that never went out. And the man and I spent a lovely evening together afterwards.
*They had no idea I was going to be home this weekend.

Sunday was with the boy again. Good Lawd. We went to get him some shoes from the new Premium Outlet right outside Fairfield. It's been open for a freaking month...and there's still an obsessive line outside Coach of women just trying to get IN it. Ridiculous. But props to Coach for being the nation's top performing company this year. Then Justinn took me home and we awaited my ride back to Austin.

I came in around 9:15? And close to 10 I went and met up with Garrick, Andre, Alan, Josh and Garrick's Cousin at Plucker's to celebrate Andre's eating, as it is a celebratory event. Much to my surprise Sheina and JT were there, so I jumped tables a lot, had a very exciting night. Then we later went to wash down Plucker's with some wonderful donuts with wonderful qualities. I'll say it one more time, though unlikely the last time....

They were like Krispy Kreme texture...but Shipley's taste.

You kind of get the best of both worlds.

2008-03-27T18:49:00.000-05:00

Alright alright. I've been slacking off on these posts man. Last time, I didn't even type it. Ctrl + v.

Course work has been pretty consistent. I try to get ahead so that I can find some downtime on the weekends when I see my family or...who else. But then my moment is over and I gotta jump back into routine again. It's like that jump rope trick when your friends get it going and you have to find the opportune time to jump into the ropes to do your thing. But it's all good. It's just about effort. And I put enough forth as to not detriment my academic career. Except for CMS...I freaking hate this class.

So weird. Yesterday I realized I was suffering from withdrawals. I need a video game fix. Especially Guitar Hero (III!). I have to master Cliffs of Dover. Over spring break, my younger brother and I went from noob to Difficulty level Hard. We sort of rock. Additionally, I also felt the most unnatural urge to go shoot terrorists. Call of Duty 4 anyone? I'm not very good, but I'd like to be.

I'm going to go read Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

2008-03-21T17:46:00.000-05:00

Thought I couldn't live without you.
It's gonna hurt when it heals, too.
It'll all get better in time.
Even though I really love you,
I'm gonna smile because I deserve to.

2008-03-02T11:34:00.000-06:00

Do you want to know why?

2008-02-17T19:49:00.001-06:00

Well. I didn't win Valentine's day. Win-Win situation anyway.

Ahhhhh....Tres mas semanas...Spring Break!

2008-02-12T16:30:00.000-06:00

So. Funny story.

I was walking down the sidewalk with my friend. But there was a wire in front of us, so we both tripped and fell.

I wonder who put the wire there.

2008-02-11T23:41:00.000-06:00

I've given up ice-cream for Lent, which has proven to be a difficult feat to endure. It's only been a week and a half. 4o days 40 nights of no ice cream...
For a while I was bummed. But I think I've found an even unhealthier substitute.

Cupcakes have been on my mind for a very long time. But I never gave it a second thought because I personally don't like icing/frosting. However, I went to a gallery that was catered by Austin's babycakes whose cupcakes were topped off with cream cheese frosting. And another with dark chocolate butter-cream.

I had an amazing time.

2008-01-31T21:24:00.000-06:00

Well. Got an eco quiz tomorrow that I should be trying a bit harder for.

I find myself consumed in Milton's Paradise Lost. It's for class but I'm having a lot of fun reading it too. We've read the whole Adam and Eve story in the bible or in those picture books the church gave us. Ya know, easy bible reading for kindergarteners. But Paradise Lost goes really in depth, starting with Lucifer/Satan's exile from Heaven and into Hell with the rest of his rebel angels. And then there's also dialogue between them, and between God and the Son, which confused me because I always thought, along with the Holy Spirit, the three were one. It is a logically and theoretically contradicting piece of literary work.

It's stupid.

Remember the days of elementary school lunch where we'd fight the last two seconds of lunch finishing our packaged juice boxes? Man I am living off those things right now. Except I finish three in one helping. There's not nearly enough to keep me going. I kept having to get up to grab another thing of Capri-Sun. So delish.

Speaking of delish. Been helping myself to a chocolate ice cream cone everyday. Castilian's soft serve has upgraded, so I'm definitely making up for the crappiness they called "ice cream" I had to endure last semester. But to balance out my bodily intake and..strain? I eat the cone going up the 9 flights of stairs back to my dorm room.

:D

Genetics is quite interesting as well. It's one of the blessings of being of Asian/Oriental descent. Good genes. Those Europeans are carrying a lot of mess in their X chromosomes. Recessive, of course. But still there.

And my M-levels are seriously fluctuating.
(Between us? It's a good thing, don't you worry.)

I'm so badly going to win Valentine's.

2008-01-24T21:02:00.000-06:00

So. I failed to mention yesterday (without really needing to) the death of Heath Ledger. It took a toll on our campus, I have to say. At least for the ones with two X chromosomes. Let's take another moment to mourn...

He was respectable. And definitely up there in my celebrity to do list. In fact, the day before yesterday, my room-mate and I had a talk about our top 5, and he was actually her number 1. I can't say I will ever be as traumatized as she. Nonetheless, I am wildly anticipating the next Batman installment by Christopher Nolan.

Been working out lately. Kind of. I run once a week when I remember. So it's more like, once every two weeks. I should run more often though, train my heart. Keep in shape. My diet is pretty healthy and very well balanced. But I've been under-eating lately since my appetite's all out of whack. Or maybe because I've been living off my 60 dollar supply of fruit in my fridge. ;P

As for toning - I'm tightening up my core because apparently it's super hot that I have side abs. Or obliques. Been taking the stairs to my dorm on the 19th freaking floor. But it feels good. My thighs should be coming back by spring break. But not so much to be compared to Salma Hayek in From Dusk Til Dawn. Man she got them crazy legs. Hot though...

And I'll start telling you about my new lesbian crush....Andi Muise.
Models for a lot of high end ads, and also walked Victoria's Secret the last three shows. I dunno man. She's just hot. :3

And she saves energy by turning off the lights in unused rooms.

Gotta love that, right?

M-Level: 82

Well then.

2008-01-23T19:30:00.000-06:00

What has happened in the two years since my last post?

Quite a lot actually. Love life was pretty significant. Notice how I brought that up first? You can tell I have a vagina. Spent two weeks in Vietnam. Graduating from the halls of Cypress Falls High, entered UT's campus at Austin, and made the decision to dwell with two boys for my second year at said university. A direct family member got hitched, and another one's not too far from it.

Seeing as how significant the last two years were, there's no wonder why I haven't posted anything. Let's look at Xanga. Senior year was a pretty crazy year for me in high school, so I stopped the Xanga blogs and focused around me, instead of the monitor and keyboard. And then never went back. I've made futile attempts but for some reason I just couldn't sit and write. Usually because certain readings hovered over my head that I knew I should get done on time, or ahead of time. Assignments, deadlines, applications, and actually going over my personal finances because hey - I also started working. Nothing professional, but I had an income and shopping was much more appealing than blogging.

I think this is a good time to start. Or at least try. I killed my first semester and I'm on top of my workload for this new semester. I find myself a little cooped up in my dorm. Seems a bit sad. If I had a kitchen I'd be pretty busy. Pleasingly so, however. I like the comfort kitchens bring. I'm pretty excited about my living conditions next year. Plus the two cuh-razy boys I'll be living with.

As for courses, business requires a lot of reading. Especially about current events - which is good. It doesn't hurt to be informed. Helps, actually. I'm excited. Though I still feel like there's a lot to do when it comes to....networking. I need to talk to certain people about certain things: internships, studying abroad (!!), course work and schedules, my plan for graduating...Geez. I haven't even finished my first year yet! But I keep getting emails reminding me to do so. Makes it harder to kick back, even when I get homework done AHEAD of time. And right now it is just too cold to go out.

So completes my life-update. Well, not really. The world isn't ready for what's left to talk about in my life, and I'm not ready to tell the world. But I'm pretty sure it's great. Or it's going to be.

M-Level: 80

First

2005-12-04T15:14:00.000-06:00

You know. I did used to have Blogger. Couldn't remember the account name/pw. So I moved to xaaannngggaaa, which isn't much different from Blogger. But now there's something about that site that makes me want to avoid it, and I'm not even sure why. And speaking of sites to avoid...let's not get started on MySpace. I refuuuse to join that. Especially after my pathetic older brother made himself an account on there that he used for a mere three and a half weeks.

Blogger's simple. And this is why I'm going to give it another try.